fhightimes | THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: NINTH ISSUE!

CHLOE SPEAKS:
Well, we did it. We survived our fall semester here at Fandom High. Despite the zombies and gremlin bites and sentient cafeteria food and freaky things living in Special Collections and all the other losses we've suffered, we've made it to the end. (Hey seniors: one semester down, one to go!) I think I speak for both Jake and myself when I say that we hope everyone has a safe and fabulous vacation.

AERYN SUN - THE NEXT TINY TIM?
by Rory Gilmore

Many Fandom High students are unfamiliar with yuletide traditions, due to not having grown up in this country or, in many instances, on this planet. Such is the case of Aeryn Sun, junior.

Aeryn has learned a bit while in Fandom, from friends Elizabeth Weir, Cameron Mitchell, Xander Harris, Veronica Mars, Angel, her boyfriend John Crichton, and of course, the infamous pageant. However, these events and retellings of the traditions only go so far in clarifying things for Aeryn:

"Well, it's a holiday to celebrate the birth of a religious leader who apparently had two fathers and one was a god? I don't really understand that. And there was a drumming boy wearing a table and a singing Chrissmass tree, which still makes no sense, but it's your holiday, not mine. And now every year there's a parade, and you drag fake trees indoors to decorate with anything shiny, and kiss people with plants. Then there's the Sandy Clouds hip-wiggle thing. Which makes less sense than anything."

Aeryn has said that she finds the entire concept strange - though she's willingly staying on campus with her boyfriend for the holiday. Perhaps spending her first Christmas with John will help Aeryn to become more enlightened.

Who are we kidding. This is Fandom. And these are the people who live with a homosexual toaster and his lover, Santa. Poor Aeryn may never yet realize what a traditional Christmas looks like.

CHRISTMAS CONFUSES CORELLIAN
by Veronica Mars

Those of us at Fandom High who are familiar with Christmas and the traditions behind it have not done a very good job of explaining the holiday and its customs to our fellow students that will be celebrating their first Christmas this year.

Han Solo, who hails from Hypermatrix City on Corellia, which is in a galaxy far, far away, explained to this reporter that they don't have religious holidays where he's from.

"We have basic governmental holidays, but nothing religious. Most folks don't believe," he said. Some celebrations are the same, despite the light years that distance us, with parades and floats and celebrating life. "And the tree, that's just bringing in some greenery to remind you spring is coming. Most worlds with your axial tilt have that."

But Han is a little misinformed about the meaning of Christmas. "I get the whole "goddess giving birth to the god" part. Every world has that legend. But I don't get the whole "zombie god his followers eat" part."

Han raised the good point that most times someone who has died and come back to life is a zombie, something we're all aware of after the infamous zombie weekend attack. However, I think he also managed to hit the nail on the head about what most people think is the real meaning of Christmas.

"I think most sentients just want an excuse for a good party. That's what holidays really are."

CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS -- THE DOCTOR AND DR. ADAM PIERSON
by Angela Chase

Physics teacher the Doctor is one of the many people in Fandom who is far from home this holiday season -- "about ten million light years and two hundred thousand years away" from his native Gallifrey, he says. On Gallifrey, the Doctor's family marked Mid-Winter with lavish parties. "There was always a lot of food, and dancing. Very formal," he says, adding that he especially enjoyed being with his parents at this time. Unlike earth celebrations, Midwinter had no religious meaning; instead, it served as a way to "chase away the chill" of this time of year.

Of modern holidays, the Doctor prefers Hanukkah to what he sees as the consumerism of Christmas. "I like Hanukkah a lot, if it's done right, in general. It's a great story, the Maccabees and their faith, as well as eight days of presents celebration, and I've been partial to royal blue of late. If I hadn't been so indoctrinated here on Earth to Christmas, I think I'd celebrate that instead. And this may sound trite, but I like latkes."

Librarian Dr. Adam Pierson also takes a broader view of holiday traditions. "What I like about holiday traditions...is their permanence. I hate to disagree with the learned Doctor here, but while the winter festivities have gotten more commercial, the general sense of what they are has remained the same for a very, very long time, across many centuries. Time to spend with family and friends. TIme to lend a hand to people in need. Time to celebrate, on a very basic level, the life you live and the people you love." His other favorite tradition? "Eggnog."

Coffee Pin-Up

credits:
editors: Jake Gavin jr & Chloe Sullivan
layout: Chloe Sullivan
words: Chloe Sullivan, Rory Gilmore, Veronica Mars, Angela Chase
pictures: Jake Gavin jr, Chloe Sullivan, Google
coffee pin-up artist: Bubbles 'N Lights