fhightimes | THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: Volume 4, Thirteenth Edition!

RIKKU SPEAKS:

It's almost Valentine's Day again! For people who are new to this world, it's an awesome holiday all about dating and romance and mushy stuff like that. It's been pretty good to me so far, so I'm looking forward to celebrating again this year.

I hope everybody survived another weekend of going completely crazy. Speaking of survival, I'm also going to hope nobody is injured as a result of the publication of this week's paper. As the editor, I'd like to state that the opinions of our writers do not necessarily reflect the views of this paper, and more importantly, that Fandom alumni Luke Skywalker would probably be very, very sad if any other Jedis came after me with a light-saber.

In closing, I'd like to say that I miss my hat. That bow kinda grew on me.

V-Day or D-Day?
by Lee Adama

Saturday, February 14th. It's coming. There's no avoiding it, there's no dodging it, there's no delaying it. Valentine's Day is upon us. It's time for flowers galore, so much candy that your teeth rot, stuffed animals softer than my bed and sappy cards filled with poems and declarations of love. It's time to get that special someone in your life something to show them that you both remember the frakking holiday and that you care about them. Men, don't forget Valentine's Day. Behind birthdays and anniversaries, it's one of those holidays that you have to remember. It's the holiday where you dote on your girl and you make her feel like the luckiest girl in the entire world. Women, if we do forget, try not to make any repercussions hurt too much. We're stupid men and sometimes we just forget. Oh, and share your chocolate with us. Sharing is caring, after all.

If you're going into the holiday single and free, that still doesn't mean you're escaping from the holiday itself. We've got the dance coming on Friday which is open for all singles and couples. Who knows, maybe you'll find your Valentine there. It's sponsored by the Student Council so I expect to see you all there. But, back to the singles. Even if you don't have anyone to get something for, get yourself something. Don't pass up the opportunity to get the good candy or stuffed animals that are so soft, you're guaranteed to get a good night's sleep. Treat yourself to a day of self love.

Not dirty.

Me personally, my Valentine's in Georgia and I've promised not to go overboard with gifts under penalty of death. Well, not really death but it'd be bad. So, flowers and some candy it is. Now, when selecting gifts, make sure you know what you're doing. Don't get someone or yourself flowers that cause an allergic reaction or candy that they don't eevn like. Make sure the gifts are personal and not the first thing you saw on your way out of the convenience store. And if you get your special someone something that you want? Run. Run now. Don't go getting your girl motor oil or a new basketball because you need it and give the excuse of teaching them how to use the gift. They will see through you.

Valentine's Day is coming. Accept it and prepare now.

Interested in Building Restoration, Maritime History, or just need some extra cash? The Fandom Island Lighthouse is in need of skilled, and unskilled labor to restore this historical landmark. Good pay, and food will be provided. Contact Tully Mars at 555-SAIL.

by Toby Moraitis

This Week: Anakin Skywalker: The Man, The Myth, The Hottie

Anakin Skywalker. The man is a freaking legend of hotness with his flowing golden locks and amazing personal style. "I start with an organic shampoo and then a conditioner, a shine booster, and a hair and scalp masque once a week." Even his journalism-student wife doesn't take chances messing with Professor Skywalker's hair care regimen. Rory says, "He throws the biggest bitchfit when I accidentally use his stuff." And don't we all feel that way about our lavendar body wash?

But is everything about the hair? Of course not! I spent time visiting with the professor Tuesday last week and learned he's also a fan of lotion, though not during sex. I can confirm for readers that the professor has like, the best-smelling cloak ever. I also called up Rory Skywalker, who's massively pregnant, and found out she's having a party in April. I'm totes going.

Really, we should focus on the interesting parts of our conversation: The professor's sex life. Dude, despite his wife's fears about poking the baby, Professor Skywalker and Rory have a very active sex life. I'm still kinda horrified by this, but everyone's told Rory that even the professor's massive manhood cannot dent the baby. I know, nice hands, right?

So let's take a moment to think about one of Fandom's most like, long-lasting professors and how he's changed our lives. Or just how he changed mine. Mostly by being hot and making me his TA even though I didn't wear a shirt to his class. The professor gave us baby Ewoks and sent us to visit them over break. How cool was that?

For this reason, I say let's all give Professor Skywalker a great big hug next time we see him. Any dude who's boyfriend died deserves hugs often. Especially when he's such a great softie! Rory said that the professor even, "lets [her] dog sit on his head." Let's hope it's not like, a pit bull.

by Cal Stephanides

This Week: Truth and Consequences

They say that honesty is a virtue.

I say it's a virtue that can hurt you; let it be.

There are a lot of different kinds of truths. There are inevitable truths determined to stay true through all sorts of things, little truths, big truths, and the kinds of truths you wish remained unsaid. Last week, the island seemed to have been struck with a urge to make sure almost all truths were known. Some of this was a good thing. But some truths are better of not being known at all.

Of course, living on Fandom Island, you sometimes don't have a choice. A good deal of people are probably familiar with those arguments occur or those embarrassing slip-ups where you say something you never intended. But what if everything out of your mouth was something you'd never in a million years let out of your head?

Most of you probably want to move on; some of you have perhaps been fortunate enough to do so already. But let's, for one last time, recall Truth Tuesday, and the very important message that it brings:

The truth sucks.

It's so overrated.

In general, human (or human-like) creatures tend to be ones of secrecy. This reporter is willing to bet money on the fact that even the most honest seeming person you can think of is still hiding something from you. Or, at least, they might have been, if they hadn't possibly spilled the beans on Tuesday. Some startling things may have been revealed, and the worst thing about it is that it isn't like those overheated arguments where people say things they don't mean: it's worst because those things said were exactly what they mean. It was the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. The truth is, you don't want that. None of us do. But if you're still convinced that you do, I hope you have a pretty tough skin. Because the truth hurts.

So the thing is, we need those secrets; they're like glue that holds us together. They're also like a shield to protect us. No one, after all, is perfect. No one is going to be free of the sorts of thoughts that are horrible and mean and hurt. So the real difference between a nice person and a cruel one is not that they don't think bad thoughts about people. It's simply that they don't speak them.

There's a reason for that. A person can't help the things they thing or feel.

But they can help the things they do.

And, usually, they can choose what it is they don't say. Usually, they choose for good reason. Just because something is, deep down, true, doesn't mean that it necessarily should matter.

Coffee Pin-Up

credits:

editor: Rikku
words: Lee Adama, Toby Moraitis, Rikku, Cal Stephanides
pictures: The fabulous Chloe Sullivan, the amazing Rory Gilmore, the marvelous Peter Parker, and the humble Rikku
adviser: Ghanima Atreides

Questions? Concerns? Got a hot tip? Send a letter to the editor: letters.fhightimes@fandomhigh.edu!

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THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: Volume 4, Thirteenth Edition!

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