THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: SECOND ISSUE!

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

JAKE SPEAKS

I need more coffee.

The professor is a bastard.

Coffee.

Chloe is keeping me hostage.

Send help.




GEORGE SPEAKS

Next week.



ELECTION RESULT

NEW STUDENT COUNCIL TAKES SEATS

Elections were held last Monday for the new Student Council. The results saw much of The Hottest Ticket in Town -- as well as independent candidates formerly listed under that ticket -- gaining votes over Junior Achievers (JA)-affiliated candidates or the Batsh*t Crazy party,. However, at least one candidate from each party was elected, many in close races.

Here's a seat-by-seat rundown.

PRESIDENT'S RACE: Independent Phoebe Halliwell won with 45 percent of the votes. In what many observers would consider a surprise, her closest competition was not Draco Malfoy -- who garnered only 18 percent of the vote -- but the enigmatic Number 6 of the Batsh*t Crazy ticket, who drew 36 percent of the vote.

VICE-PRESIDENT: Elizabeth Weir, who ran on the Hottest Ticket in Town, garnered 52 percent of the vote for a win. Cole "Belthazor" Turner received 25 percent -- a strong showing in light of his refusal to participate in one debate and the attack ad against him -- and Gaius Baltor earned 23 percent.

SECRETARY: Faith Lehane, who ran almost unopposed, gained 89 percent of the total vote. Write-in candidate Elizabeth Turner got 10 percent of the vote.

TREASURER: Many voters were apparently impressed by the devotion to student money Anya Jenkins expressed in the debates; she swept to office with 76 percent of the vote. Write-in candidate Callisto and Lady Jessica made relatively weak opposition showings, at 13 and 10 percent of the vote respectively.

STUDENT RELATIONS: Hottest Ticket in Town candidate Lorelai "Rory" Gilmore made the strongest showing for that ticket at 84 percent of the vote, while Lindsay McDonald gathered only 15 percent.

ACADEMIC AFFAIRS: Beka Valentine was elected. However, her seat has since been revoked in reaction to a discipline issue. It is not yet clear what steps the school administration will take to fill this seat.

SECURITY: Martin Blank won in spite of last-minute revelations about his past as a hit man, taking 60 percent of the vote to Alanna Trebond's 40 percent.

Student reaction was mixed, but generally positive.

"Personally, I'm thrilled," Angelus said. "There isn't anything that could make me gladder than I am about the current lineup of our Student Council. In fact, I'd go so far as to say my happiness about this is absolutely perfect." He had earlier endorsed several of the winning candidates in an article in this newspaper.

Candidates were also pleased by the results. New Vice-President Weir said, "I'm shocked that I won. But I'm glad people listened to what I had to say. I think that we have a good council, and I hope that we can make a difference."


NEW TEACHERS
TARA MACLAY
Veronica Mars

Do you believe people are born good or evil? Or do you think we have a choice? If you’ve ever pondered the question, you might want to consider signing up for Ethics or Philosophy with Fandom High’s new professor, Ms. Tara Maclay.

Ms. Maclay was sent to Fandom High by the community service organization she worked for to “conduct a research study into the nature of good and evil and the factors that trigger a person into choosing one.”

Friday was Ms. Maclay’s first hands-on teaching experience.

“I was very, very proud of my students. A few of them had troubles opening up, or seeing outside their own perspective, but most of them confronted difficult ethical situations honestly. They challenged each other to examine the reasons for their choices, and used compassion and humor to help classmates analyze their own perspectives.

The issues we were confronting were emotionally distressing to some students, who I will be following up on in the next few days. It's an inevitable concern of an ethics class, but I will be following up with those students privately to address any concerns."

According to Ms. Maclay she has been studying ethics her entire life.

A practicing witch, Ms. Maclay spends much of her spare time researching spells and demons. She also enjoys hearing people’s stories and strawberry milkshakes.

So far, Ms. Maclay is enjoying her time at Fandom High.

“Everyone I've met has been so lovely to me."




CHARLIE EPPES
Alex Krycek & Jake Gavin

The new mathematics teacher, professor Charles Eppes, considers his national security clearance on the highest level helps, his lecure series on P vs NP which he did a couple of years ago, and his love for video games to be the main reason why he's qualified to teach here at Fandom High.

He feels the love for video games helps him relate to his students, and learn multitasking as well.

He's always had a talent for remembering numbers. "Dad says I was three when I started multiplying four digit numbers in my head, and, well, it's just always been something I'm good at. I love numbers. Everything is numbers in the end."

The professor hopes he'll be able to share his love for mathematics with his students during his stay here.


Next week: MacGuyver and Geoff Chaucer! You can't miss it!




Beka Valentine
Phoebe Halliwell, on hiatus this week

It’s been a weird week ship-wise. Breaking up and making up, hanging out and letting it all hang out. But then, it’s always weird here at Fandom High.

The best news of the week is that Geoff Chaucer has returned. Pretty much everyone breathed a sigh of relief that little sister Paige made it through his vacation mostly unscathed. Also, Allie Cameron and Logan Huntzberger appear to be official. Strike one more eligible bachelor off the “available for OTP” list.

In good news for some and intellectually painful news for others, Daniel Jackson has returned as well. He’s making up for lost time with his sweetheart with flowers, pitiful poetry and profligate Shakespeare abuse. A video donated anonymously to the newspaper staff shows him engaging in spontaneous spouting of the Bard’s works, altered to fit his love. Really, someone needs to give the poor guy a hand. Any Cyranos waiting in the wings, please apply to this office.

In awkward news, Angelus appears not to have seen much of his love interest this week, despite his continuing good little schoolboy behavior. Aside from rumors of a mishap in a closet, he’s been an absolute Angel. He may even be reading to the blind alone.

Also awkward, at an election victory party, the other Logan (who is really the first Logan) got kissed. Then Rory and a certain sex-shifting newspaper staffer got dared by an incredibly dumb blonde to kiss, which they did. In Journalism class of all the dumb places. Innumerable relationship traumas resulted. Among other things.

Finally, in Sim-world, Angelus-sim was distraught when Rodney-sim died, then came back as a zombie.

That’s it for news this week, but we do have two letters from the relationally even more clueless than me and Phoebe.

Dear Beka and Phoebe,

So I'm attracted to the strong, assertive dominant types. You know, the type that could and would punch you as soon as kiss you. The problem is, I am not a strong, assertive or dominant person. How can I tell if the object of my affections will respond to me? How can I make sure I'm not on the receiving end of the aforementioned punching? I have very delicate bone structure. How can I win them over and make them mine?

Sincerely,

Unfortunate Sub


Dear Unfortunate,

Engaging the affections of a dominant woman requires treating her with respect. Acknowledge her strength, without toadying. And for hell’s sake, don’t cringe if she snaps or snarks just say ‘yes mistress’ and take it like a man. Sometimes that verbal sparring and subtextual eye-sex is the key to creating a workable match.

Begin by making eye contact. Don’t be creepy and don’t offer to take her out for dinner. She’s probably not into dates and dancing, though she might be willing to take you out later on on a leash. Try talking to her like you would anyone you want to get to know. If she gives you the sexy eyes, or subtexts strong intentions, that’s a good sign she may be open to your approach.

If it does work out, you should realize that the sub holds the keys in a Dom-sub relationship. You have the ability to walk away at any time. If she’s interested, that threat and Rover, Admin, expulsion or detention should be more than enough to keep her from hitting you – unless you want her to, you know?

Beka


I...uh... I've not been the most attentive man around. And I've done some
really stupid things, but how can I prove my sincerity and ask for her
forgiveness?

How can I prove to her that I really love her?

I've already sent flowers and bad love poetry

Sleepless in Seattle Colorado Fandom?


Sleepless, hon,

Flowers are nice – if you know the girl likes flowers. Chocolates and shiny things are good too. But, please, don’t stoop to anything that makes you or her look ridiculous. Embarrassing her in front of her friends will just make things awkward. Not to mention land you in the gossip column.

Remember, actions speak louder than words or gifts unless your love interest is an ex-demon or ex-goddess or something. If you want to prove you love her, well… love her. And I don’t mean just in the sexy way, though that can’t hurt matters. Show up when she needs you. Be interested in her. Talk with her. Call her to say you’ve been thinking about her.

Don’t be saccharine. Be sincere. If you do, honestly, love her, then in time, being genuine and not being inattentive and self-absorbed will win her trust.

Beka

HORRORSCOPE

Starting next issue! Keep an eye out for the future!

COFFEE PIN-UP



Last minute addition: We at the paper would like to congratulate the new Mayor of Fandom Town: Red XIII!




credits:
Editors: Chloe Sullivan & Jake Gavin jr
Words: Jake Gavin, Veronica Mars, Alex Krycek, Beka Valentine (ooc: Angela Chase)
Pictures: Veronica Mars, Jake Gavin jr
source of coffee pic

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