THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES - FIRST ISSUE

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

RORY SPEAKS:
One year ago, I was the quiet girl who sat in the back of the classroom, wore plaid as part of her school routine, and read a book while others socialized.

Admittedly, the plaid may seem like the only noticeable thing that’s changed. How could it be, though, when I’ve endured a year at Fandom High? Like it or not, people, we’re being changed. We range between the ages of thirteen and twenty-odd, and thus experience all that goes with that tumultuous period – crushes, blushes, the way the world begins with a first kiss and ends with a last, learning to drive, grades, insecurity, friends, boredom, short attention spans, and those things that life flings but haven’t created names for themselves – and atop that? Zombies. Jello dragons. Snow monsters. And, lest anyone forget, the dreaded emoo.

One year ago, I was a different girl. I’ve changed. You have to, once you’ve lived in Fandom. Would I take it back?

…nah.

So, Fandom, the next time you feel like tossing a creepy voice-stealing floaty guy or three at us, or have a girl fall out a door on the sixth floor – whatever it may be, good or bad, I have one thing to say:

Bring it.





STUCO RECAP
by Peter Parker

Before I begin recapping what happened at the Student Council meeting this past Friday, I would like to take a moment to say - on behalf of the Student Council - how pleased we are to serve Fandom High. We gather to help you and give you stuff to do. It's not about us, it's about all of you.

*To start off this year, it was all about us and our election of a new Student Council President. Congratulations to Alanna Trebond, who will surely give us insightful comments to report throughout her reign.

*The big topic was, of course, Homecoming. The sophomores figured out how to run the Homecoming Court nominations, the juniors figured out what to do for the Homecoming Carnival Friday afternoon, the seniors worked out logistics for the dance, and the freshmen were our minions.

*StuCo members also started to figure out other events for this semester. Some ideas - like a repeat of last year's Game Nights and more available food on campus - were well regarded. Other ideas, like a utopian glitter orgy, seemed unlikely to be fleshed out any further.

That was all for this week's meeting. Watch for dunk booth statistics in next week's recap.



WHO'S THAT TEACHER DRESSED ALL IN BLACK AND WEARING A MASK?
Part one of two part series.
By Blair Sandburg

Two new additions to Fandom High's teaching staff share the same style, fashion style that is. Both Darth Vader, who teaches ethics, and V who teaches criminal justice, have both been seen wearing all black clothing and face covering apparatus. Is this a new goth teacher trend? Is there a secret connection between V and Vader? Are they actually twins separated at birth and doomed to forever be apart until their careers and mutual monochromatic fashion sense bring them together at last in the halls of Fandom High? Read both articles and draw your own conclusions on if the black-clad masked duo are related or just a bizarre coincidence.

Darth Vader joins the teaching staff at Fandom High from his hard work at Imperial Center which is possibly a company run by someone named Emperor. His status as a Sith Lord gives him the nifty title of 'Lord Vader' but doesn't give him royal status. Which is sad, because Fandom could use more royalty. Darth Vader's previous employment was not as a teacher, although he believes that his job for the Emperor provided him with, "a unique perspective to offer to my students."

As a teacher, Darth Vader doesn't believe in coddling his students which might lead some students to believe that he isn't a nice guy. But there is a softer side to our ethics teacher. He enjoys the weather. It's his favorite part of Fandom High. Lord Vader also doesn't seem to have a problem following the rules, which is a good quality in an ethics professor.

When asked what quote he'd like to share with our readers, Vader replied; "Don't make me angry." A quote which sums up our new ethics professor nicely. A man of few words, a man with strong thoughts on discipline, a man dressed entirely in black.


CLASS EXPECTATIONS
By Alanna Trebond

Midterms are almost upon us, and most of us have already had a chance to form an opinion about the classes. So what do I expect?

Good Omens...and Bad: Prophecy in Theory and Practice: Will predict who's going to break up/make out next and decided that they really don't want to see the future.

Spanish 101: Will accidentally propose a treaty with a colony of cows.

World History in a Nutshell: Will leave the nut.

Communications & Media Studies: Will start a school wide television broadcast that will end with three break-ups, one nervous break down, and a few very happy gossip queens.

Introduction to 21st Century Popular Culture: Will finally figure out ballpoint pens.

Interstellar Relations: Will sign a trade agreement between Earth and whatever planet happens to be closest.

Cross Species Communications: Someone will finally be able to understand a person of the opposite gender.

Criminal Justice: Applications for an Apathetic World: A fistfight will break out.

Biology, US Government, Applied Science: A student will stay awake.

Through a Glass Darkly: A Hands on History of Spies and Spying: Someone has a heart attack.

Basic Acting: Will put on the Christmas play and get invaded by animate furniture.

Heroism, Humanism and Hijinks: Literature in Action: Will get a shorter title.

The Best Medicine: Humor's Contribution to Our Well Being: Will learn to save someone's life with a well placed joke.

Music is Love: Someone's eardrums will finally start bleeding.

American Political Campaigning: Will make plans to replace the current President.

World Religions: Will start their own cult

Internet for Dummies: Will accidentally wander into the government's computers

Introduction to Magic: It was nice knowing you oh humanities wing!

Astronomy 101: Moons and Planets: Will break down into a bloody fight over Pluto.

Hunting 101: Someone will finally burn down the Danger Room.

Myth into History, History into Myth: Revolutionizing the Way We Look at the Ancient
World: The students will file a petition stating that the title falls under 'cruel and unusual' punishment.

The Philosophy of Values: The parallels between the Medical and Magical Communities: Someone will figure out what's going on in that class

War Theory: Will attack the American Political Campaigning class

Dance: Someone breaks an ankle.

Ethics: Vader looses his temper a time too many and all the windows in the building get blown out.

Science!: Will finally figure out why the exclamation mark is there.

Energy & Fitness: Will get challenged to a duel by all the gym dwellers

Health: Will start a campaign to get all the junk food of campus and then get chased off by rioting students

Constant Vigilance 2: Electric Boogaloo: Will spend three weeks figuring out that Boogaloo is a made-up word.

So when the walking chairs burst into the War Theory class screaming "Boogaloo" on top of their lungs, don't say you weren't warned! And don't forget, Homecoming is this week!


Coffee Pin-Up




credits:
editor: Rory Gilmore
words: Rory Gilmore, Peter Parker, Blair Sandburg, Alanna Trebond
pictures: The fabulous Chloe Sullivan and the magnificent Google
coffee pin-up: http://www.boncafe.co.th/recipes/images/k_coffee-mocha.jpg

Comments

[1ordinarygirl.livejournal.com]

Buffy wondered why there was a photo of coffee in the newspaper.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker made a note to avoid that Vader guy. Yee.

[ktarian-wildman.livejournal.com]

Naomi saw the pin up of the coffee and suddenly had a craving for one. She wondered if this was Admiral Janeway's coffee addiction rubbing off on her.