fhightimes | THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: SUMMER NEWSLETTER EDITION

RORY SPEAKS:
So, here's the thing about summer:

I kind of hate it.

Now, quit your booing, and put down the pitchforks while I explain.

The thing is, anyone who knows me - or has talked to me for more than two minutes - knows that school is my life. School/Rory = OTP, all of that. And beyond that, I'm paler than copy paper and about four times more prone to burning.

But - here's the actual thing. The crux of it, the heart of the matter, the colloquialism of your choice - it's that all my life, I've hated having to give up the, albeit few, friends I knew at school for three interminable months. Granted, there were plans made, afternoons spent together, but it's drastic to go from seeing a person's face or the back of their head as you peer past to the chalkboard every day to having them fully absent from your life.

This? Not so much with being an issue at Fandom High. Summer's here with a vengeance, and yes, I'm knee-deep in projects and studies of my own while the sun's sworn to turn me from Snow White to Rose Red. But more important than any of my whining is that the friends I've made this past year are, for the most part, remaining and keeping their place as fixtures in my life.

So sit back, people of Fandom. Enjoy a beverage with a whimsical umbrella, or perhaps a popsicle or a bowl of popcorn with pals. For summer's arrived, and it's sticking around for awhile - like it or not.

EQUALITY IN FANDOM: ARE WE THERE YET?
By Blair Sandburg

Fandom High is a school populated by students from almost every background imaginable. The one thing they have in common is that when they come to school here they enter a level playing field. No matter if they come from the future or the past, outer space or right around the corner, every student should be able to experience equality. But does that happen?

Major issues of inequality? Fandom High doesn’t seem to have them. When asked about inequality, future student council president Elizabeth Weir stated that, “It's one thing we don't tend to see much of here." Fellow student Alphonse Elric said “for the most part everyone seems to get along just fine, but that's just from what I've seen." Not every student had the same perfect view of the school.

“I think that girls get away with more than the guys can;” remarked student Dalter Wornez*. Dalter related a story about how three girls attacked him with tickling in the cafeteria. Because of their gender, he was unable to fight back as society doesn’t accept violence against women. That’s not the only example of the female population having an unfair advantage at Fandom High. “It sucks ass that practically the whole Stickbug cabin got detention last week for the pranks, but almost no Meerkats did.” Tyler Durden relayed this week. “Like they got off easy because they're girls, or something.”

Besides these few incidents, Fandom High seems to be doing well with human to human equality. But what about non-human relations? Recent events such as the gremlin and snowpersons genocide have shown that the residents and students of Fandom respond quickly and violently at times. Yes, there were allegations of violence and biting; but did anyone treat them with the same respect a human would afford? Did anyone give them that little bit of equality? New student Hermione Granger asked the question; “No one would be happy if people acted this way towards their species, would they?” I think it’s a question that needs to be answered if Fandom wants to extend equality to everyone.

*Name changed for anonymity.

The Strongest Workshop Instructor... in the World
By Peter Parker

As a respected member of the Fandom community, Artie, the Strongest Man in the World, has made many contributions to our town. His most recent contribution has been teaching a summer workshop at Fandom High called Applied Dadaism: Fun and Games. Artie himself has been unable to describe exactly what the workshop is about or what it is like during an average week. In his own words, it is simply "interesting."

Artie came to Fandom from Wellsville because he saw an opportunity to fill a need. Working security at Caritas, teaching a workshop, and selling aluminum siding with surprising enthusiasm, he is willing to help protect and enrich the lives of all of Fandom's residents. Proud of his work, his home, and his country, Artie is a solid member of the Fandom community. His time here has proven him to be quite... pipe.

Welcome to the Summer Edition of Shipping News & Advice. It's been a while since we've given you the gossip, so let's jump right in. "There's been a lot of jumping into all kinds of things so far this summer, hasn't there, V?" "Yes there has. But I would like to state, for the record, that I am not sleeping with Phoebe's boyfriend!" "No she's not, as evidenced by the fact that we are not fighting and we'd very much appreciate it if people would stop inferring that Cole and Veronica are sleeping together."

Summer camp has brought a lot of new faces to school and consequently, a lot of new couples. Everyone seems to be pairing off. The summer days are drifting away into hot summer nights for: Isabel & Greg, Buffy & Sam, Dean & Dawn, Tim & Gwynn, Joxer & Kaylee and Jude & Sakurazaki.

And it's not just the new kids pairing up. Molly & Cam, Nadia & Walter and Veronica & Archie have joined the ranks of Fandom High couples."It's about damned time." And there are rumors that Janet & Liz have as well.

Of course, we'd be remiss if we didn't mention that some longstanding couples are still happily together: Cally & Anders, Bel & Phoebe, Xander & Bridge and John & Aeryn. "Cute couples all of us." "Most definitely."

Then we have the random hook-ups: Alec & Jaye, Alec & D'Anna, Jack & Jaye, Jack & Cedric, and Jack & Sam. Anyone notice a theme there? We may have to just have to start a Jack & Alec report. "Maybe we should keep a checklist and a clipboard to keep track of Jack and Alec's hook-ups?" "Or an Excel spreadsheet." "That's a good idea, too. Their names on one side and the names of the rest of the student body on the other and we can check them off with little stars."

Now, the most important bit of information we have for you. As you all know, Veronica graduated in May and she's leaving Fandom at the end of the summer, which means Phoebe is going to need a new co-columnist for the Shipping News in the fall.

Do you think you have what it takes? If you do, drop us a line. Three lucky people will have the opportunity to serve as guest columnists this summer and at the end, we'll let the readers decide who will be working with Phoebe next year. [ooc: see V's journal for details]

Coffee Pin-up

credits:
editor: Rory Gilmore
words: Blair Sandburg, Peter Parker, Phoebe Halliwell, Veronica Mars, Rory Gilmore
wee comic: Ranma Saotome
pictures: The fabulous Chloe Sullivan, the magnificent Google, and the humble Rory Gilmore
coffee pin-up: www.wiener-kaffeehaus.at

THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: SUMMER NEWSLETTER EDITION - FIRST ISSUE!

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