fhightimes | THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: Volume 4, Eighteenth Edition!

RIKKU SPEAKS:

Some weeks, it's harder than others to find something to write here. It's hard because I can't start a conversation with you guys, or ask about your weekends, or anything like that? I mean, I can, but you're not really able to reply very well.

Maybe we can just pretend! Let's try it!!!!

Hi, guys! How's everyone been? Classes going okay? I'm glad the weather's warming up, I don't know about you guys. Any big exciting plans coming up? I have to head back home for a few days, to see if I can get a satellite working. Maybe I'll try to help Pops fix the airship while I'm there!

How about you? Any interesting hobbies lately? I've been reverse-engineering some mech droids. That is a seriously good time. Everything going okay on the relationship front? (Or the single front, if you're rocking with your commitment-free self.) Any weird dreams lately? What's your favorite type of cheese? I like really sharp cheddar, especially on crackers.

Good talk, everybody! See you next week!

Two Foot Tall and Mean As Hell
by Lee Adama

Two weekends ago, the island once again saw fit to work its magic and turn some of us into small children again. For most of us, it wasn't a new experience. It's one we've been through before but it's still surprising to wake up one morning and to be the size of a lamp, have poor motor skills and have enough energy to power a battlestar. Of course, the downfall of having so much energy is that the crash is amazingly harsh. Still, sometimes I wish I had that energy while I was this size. Naps are amazing things.

Anyway. Yes, most of us were small again. We got to relive our childhoods in a completely different environment. We got to forget about classes, homework, studying, graduation in lieu of mud, candy, coloring, running around and jumping on beds. If the cruise was a vacation from school, this was almost like a vacation from real life. It was nice not to care about anything other than if you wanted to douse your cereal in maple or chocolate syrup. It was nice to belly flop into the mud and not give a damn that your shirt and pants were probably ruined because everyone else around you looked the same. It was nice to jump on your bed and not worry that your neighbors downstairs might get a little annoyed, march on up to your room and punch you in the nose for being loud and obnoxious.

And, of course, being small seems to obliterate your sense of right and wrong. For instance, my fort was pillaged and plundered by a tiny pirate. She wrecked my carefully constructed fort, licked my candy and stole something from me. It just goes to show you that, when we're that age, it's not about anything but what we want. We're all very egocentric.

And no, I didn't eat the candy. I was tempted because damn, that was good candy.

Come Monday, those of us that had changed were all back to normal again, back to real life and back to dealing with things that we were able to forget about. Maybe it's just me but I kind of wanted to be a kid a little longer. It was nice to put off some major life decisions for a few days so I could put a mud mask on and build forts.

Alas. Real life is a bitch.

by Warren Peace

I don't like people.

I think that doesn't come as a surprise to anyone out there who has met me by now. I glare at you when you walk by me in the hallways. I have sat in tree branches at welcoming picnics almost regularly, because that way I can keep an eye on who out there might try to invade my space. I say on a weekly basis here in the paper that I hate you all. If you're surprised by now, either there's something the matter with you, or you haven't been paying attention.

All that said, I don't hate you. Or you. Or the guy sitting next to you. Or his girlfriend. Or her little dog. Off the top of my head, the number of people in particular that I hate, I can actually count on the fingers one hand.

And yet, here I am, hating people. Being in a group situation that I can't gauge my position in. Locked in a conversation with someone I don't know. Having to explain over and over why I don't like people touching me. I hate it. And so I bully people who don't respect my space. I'll glare at you, threaten you, throw fire at you if the words 'back off' don't mean anything after I've said them ten times. I don't like people, but I'll tolerate them if they don't push me.

I'm the cranky kid. You've probably seen me around. The one in the dark clothes with the hair in my eyes, probably with my nose in a book. If I look busy, you'll be less likely to try to strike up conversation. I hate conversation. Small talk about the weather, people gushing about their family at home. What do I say to things like that?

This article you're reading right now is actually hard for me to write on a weekly basis. That's why I do it. Because I'm trying, in a sense, to work on communicating. It's not face-to-face. I don't have to worry about strangers soliciting hugs or awkward small talk. I just pick something to complain about, I throw in my two cents, and there it is. I've communicated.

You'd think that doing it for nearly two full semesters now would mean that somehow, I'm getting better at opening up. It doesn't. It just means that now you all know what makes me tick, and I still have no idea how to talk to you, face-to-face.

I don't hate you. I just don't like people.

And now that even I have no idea what it is exactly that I'm trying to say, I'll just shut my flaming trap.

Aries
March 21 - April 20
Dreams offer you some advice on your future, but don't be a follower.

Taurus
April 21 - May 21
The power struggles you've been going through are going to finally come to an end when you kill your boss. Dude.

Gemini
May 22 - June 22
Taking things slowly is the wisest strategy for everything in your life today, except not. Live it up.

Cancer
June 23 - July 23
You're entering a phase where your intuition seems to be overpowering your logic. Remember logic is fail.

Leo
July 24 - August 23
It's important to build personal relationships with professionals today. Dirty professionals.

Virgo
August 24 - September 23
Have you been having a lot of confusing dreams about cheese and lice? Dude, me too.

Libra
September 24 - October 23
Follow your mood today. And make no apologies for being your losery self.

Scorpio
October 24 - November 22
Beware of unexpected outbursts today. Someone wants attention from you -- badly. Dirtily.

Saggitarius
November 23 - December 21
Do the world a favor and talk to as many people as you can, especially strangers with candy.

Capricorn
December 22 - January 20
You'll turn heads with beautiful words, so use your killer creative writing skills. Unless you don't have any. Then, like talk or something.

Aquarius
January 21 - February 19
Reevaluate your methods for dealing with arguments and decide to be compassionate to idiots and hot boys.

Pisces
February 20 - March 20
A foolish friend is not winning fans today -- try to separate yourself from them or others will dislike you, too.

Coffee Pin-Up

credits:

editor: Rikku
words: Lee Adama, Toby Moraitis, Warren Peace, Rikku
pictures: The fabulous Chloe Sullivan, the amazing Rory Gilmore, the marvelous Peter Parker, and the humble Rikku
adviser: Ghanima Atreides

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