fhightimes | THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: Volume 4, Fourteenth Edition!

RIKKU SPEAKS:

You know, every week I sit down and think I'll know just what I want to say this time, easy as pie, and every time I come up stumped. Everything else is set up already, the paper is in apple-pie order and ready to run, and it's just waiting on me to finish it off. So I'll eat some humble pie here and admit that it's hard for me, trying to think of something to say that won't be boring or too personal or just flat-out weird. I'd like to think that this column is interesting now and again, but that might be pie-in-the-sky optimism, on my part.

In conclusion, I have the strangest feeling that there's a theme here, but I just can't put my finger on it.

Pie
by Lee Adama

Pie. That one simple word can elicit a variety of responses in almost everyone here. Pie. Three letters. One syllable. One impossible dream. Pie is a cornerstone of almost every student's diet. Pie is what some people get up for and what some people live for and what some people (the kinky ones) sleep with. Pie is diverse and far reaching. Pie can bring the bitterest of enemies together for a few short minutes. Pie can be served with friends, family, lovers, haters, teachers, saints, sinners, anyone. It's that versatile.

So, what is it about pie that has made it such a beloved part of the Fandom High experience? Is it the sweet, sweet filling? Is it the flaky crust? Is it that you can smash it into someone's face and then run away and hide while they're trying to wipe the sweet, sweet filling and flaky crust out of their eyes? Is it a little bit of both? I think, my friends, the answer depends on the person. I, personally, am a fan of the sweet, sweet fillings. I can take or leave the crust but I can admit that a pie wouldn't be a pie without the crust. Then, it'd just be like sweet yogurt or something.

Can anyone really have a favorite type of pie? I'm going to go with no because there are so many flavors out there. There are always more being discovered. You can't decide that apple is your favorite until you've tried chocolate apple crumble caramel. When someone asks me which type of pie is my favorite, I just tell them pie. Pie pie is my favorite. Give me a pie and I'll try it. If I don't like it, well, then I don't like it and I won't be eating it again but I haven't found many pies that I don't like. And, if we harken back to something previously said, if you find a pie that you don't like, take said pie and smash it into someone's face. Then, you haven't wasted the pie and you don't have to eat it. Two birds, one stone and you're free to go get another pie.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get some pie. I'm suddenly very hungry.

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by Warren Peace

Pie.

Yes, pie. That is the whole of my opening line, and what are you going to do about it?

See, pie is a beautiful thing, if you go about preparing it right. I'm not much of a piemaker myself, I prefer putting something a little more Asian into my mouth, really. Personal tastes, here. But I've had some happy run-ins with pie, too. Personally, I'm a fan of cherry. Just tart enough not to be too sweet, and if it's handled right in the preparation stages, it doesn't get mushy like apple or peach. Instead, the cherries have this satisfying sort of pop. A very nice texture while still being pleasantly moist. Very easy to enjoy.

But, I mean, I've had some pretty nasty pie in my life. If you leave it sit too long, it gets stale. You want to pick it up again, but you know it just isn't going to be half as good as it was when you got your hands on it in the first place. It's old, it's dry, and it's just not satisfying. Or worse yet, it gets soggy, and you're stuck with a pie that should have decent flavor, yes, but the crust leaves an awkward aftertaste in your mouth. Once again, you've failed at enjoying your pie.

And it was going to be such good damn pie, too.

So let that be a lesson to you all.

Eat fortune cookies.

And for now, I'll just shut my flaming trap.

Aquarius
January 21 - February 19
Branch out with new blood! People like you, they really do. Just not as much as they like pie. Sorry.

Pisces
February 20 - March 20
Your energy is problematic. Slow down and that bad boy will be ready to rock as soon as you can cut a pecan pie.

Aries
March 21 - April 20
Action is your aim...but we're thinking you'd be better off baking this week.

Taurus
April 21 - May 21
Something long and hard is waiting for you today, but it's not what you'd hoped. It's a conversation about rolling pins - wooden or marble!

Gemini
May 22 - June 22
Your plans were hard to form, but easy to miss out on. Woe, dude. Woe.

Cancer
June 23 - July 23
Your cherries seem to have dried up. Try something bolder or give up on the baking for a while.

Leo
July 24 - August 23
Having a passion for travel is a good thing, start searching for new bakeries today and tomorrow will be sweeter.

Virgo
August 24 - September 23
Your ability to be flexible and go with the flow will come in very handy today! Sadly, it will not come to fruition.

Libra
September 24 - October 23
Balance is the key to achieving more happiness in your life. Spread your filling evenly for more thorough baking.

Scorpio
October 24 - November 22
Taking big leaps is admirable-like, but dude, laying low and eating snack cakes might be more appropriate this week.

Saggitarius
November 23 - December 21
Someone's admiration of you is flattering, but watch that they're not being false and cutting you with a dirty pie knife right when you look away!

Capricorn
December 22 - January 20
Don't worry what other people think, dude. You like, know that it works all the rest of the time! Have another piece of pie.

Coffee Pin-Up

credits:

editor: Rikku
words: Lee Adama, Toby Moraitis, Rikku, Warren Peace, Pie
pictures: The fabulous Chloe Sullivan, the amazing Rory Gilmore, the marvelous Peter Parker, and the humble Rikku
adviser: Ghanima Atreides

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