http://courier-gavin.livejournal.com/ (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
courier-gavin.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fhightimes2005-10-10 03:44 pm
courier-gavin.livejournal.com) wrote in fhightimes2005-10-10 03:44 pm
THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: ELECTION ISSUE!
ooc: warning, text and graphics heavy
Presidential candidates
Draco Malfoy
Lady Jessica Atreides
Although I am running, I have chosen to write an article about Draco Malfoy:
As Draco Malfoy, one of our candidates for President, states: “I'd like to run for president. Political interest runs in my family, you know.” There have been some very quiet mutterings about his decision to run. Several of our students from his dimension who were familiar with him prior to enrollment at Fandom High do not appear to be overly fond of him, and it may be fairly argued that running solely because of family is not an appropriate platform on which to run.
On the other hand, Malfoy has not caused a great deal of havoc at Fandom since the term started, and this might in fact cause many to believe that, at the very least, he would do no harm, and that, at best, he may be good for the school. There is, of course, also the possible view that a little bit of political plotting will make life at our high school more interesting and excessively involved than it usually is. It is, in fact, quite possible that he will be voted into office solely for the purpose of a bit of mayhem. More than a few individuals residing in Fandom find chaos to be highly amusing.
Phoebe Halliwell
Jake Gavin jr
Phoebe Halliwell is running for President because she cares, because she can see the possibilities of the position to change things, and because she feels the president should be someone approachable and friendly.
She believes that while the responsibilities of the president will be many and time consuming, she will be able to handle it despite her prior commitments as a TA for professor Spider Jerusalem (among other things). We asked her if she thought she could be an uniting figure for the school. Her answer?
"I have a lot of friends, both human and non-human. I reach out to anyone that needs me or that I see being treated unfairly. It's why I'm no longer running on my previous ticket. I believe that if you feel strongly about something, you should be willing to stand up for it, no matter the consequences.
"If I get elected? I have many plans. However, all plans fail if there is no interest. I want to organize events to get each student willing to learn from and interact with their fellow students."
She is talking about is things like festivals and carnivals, events that get people working and interacting together. Maybe a few specialized field trips to different homelands. She is of the opinion that there's a plethora of things waiting to be discovered and done.
When questioned about the Coffee issue, she replied, "We need more of it."
Number Six
Caroline Todd
Number 6 is a very interesting candidate. He seems to have a fear many thing, even the school itself sometimes. He also seems to, (only to the untrained eye?), be trying to escape Fandom High.
Considering the tentacle monsters, the scary lockers, the magic and mayhem that ensues every day here (and night mind you) I think he would make a very good President.
The more paraniod the better I see it.
He also doesn’t seem to be a mind reader, gun shooter, magic user or .. well… dead. To me all of these things lend points to why I should vote for him.
Apart from that, he seems to stand for freedom and individuality, general rightness in the world and happy puppies. Perhaps not the puppies, but they would help. Anyway, number six is everything the typical president should be. The question is do we want a typical president?
Vice president candidates
Cole Turner
Chloe Sullivan
At first glance, Cole Turner might seem like the kind of person who would avoid student elections as much as possible. In fact, Turner never planned on running at all. "[I]t was kind of a joke," he said. "Then that video of me comes out the other day...I was minding my own business, not even putting up posters or making radio ads, and someone in the competition felt the need to illegally hack into the schools' security system and try to humiliate me and scare the other students...I thought, you know, maybe I should take this more seriously, because if I was elected, I would make sure that no student, human or otherwise, would have to deal with that kind of unpleasant situation. I think most of the people running for office are human, but we non-humans should have a voice too."
Asked what else he would do if elected, Turner replied that he would form a good relationship with the elected president, and would work towards being a communicator between students and the administration, to put a voice to the students' most pressing concerns.
Elizabeth Weir
Veronica Mars
not in as of going to press.
Gaius Baltar
Alex Krycek
Gaius Baltar, lately of Caprica, is the vice presidential candidate from the Batsh*t Crazy Party, one of three candidates for the office. At the debates, he's held his own against the other candidates with a platform dedicated to using the office as a vehicle for the addressing of student concerns and the equal treatment of all intelligent beings.
Intelligence is a particular topic of interest for Baltar, given his own background; the youngest winner of the Magnate Prize, the most distinguished award in the field of science on his home world, and the only three-time winner in existence, Baltar holds that intelligence is all that separates us from mere animals. Sentient machines seem to be a concern for Baltar, as he assured the room that those who are not traditionally considered to be members of society would enjoy equal consideration with humans and humanoid beings under his party's election. When this reporter asked if Baltar was speaking to them directly (given that at no time during this part of the interview was he addressed or even looked at), no answer was given save an assurance that we were at least included in the delivery.
When not twitching or staring into space, Baltar made sure that we knew his intelligence would be a profound contribution to the student council. This reporter has no doubt that there is little Baltar believes he can't do.
Other candidates
Martin Blank
Rogue
I believe that Martin Blank will be elected as security officer. He has been the first, and so far, the only, candidate to use mass media advertising. Studies have repeatedly shown that candidates with the highest name recognition fare the best, and I, as an average student at Fandom High, could not name any other student running for public office.
Marty has also recieved recommendations from several professors and community members. As such, he has proven his political prowess in bartering with those in positions of power. He even convinced the police to endorse him after his night in jail.
Rory Gilmore
Jake Gavin jr
Rory Gilmore is running for Student Relations officer. In her campaign she is using coffee as a motivator and bribe, something that shows a keen insight into the student body. Should she win her mission is to keep the students updated, through the media, on the changes and stuff being made in the student government.
"I mean, so many people feel like student politics have nothing to do with them - and I want to fix that," she told this reporter confidently. She adds; " You have a concern, or a question, take it up with me. And I'll do what I can to address everyone."
She's not all seriousness, however, and joked quite happily about her caffeine addiction. "Well, coffee, of course, keeps my platform going. Without coffee, it wouldn't be so much as a campaign as a sad observation. People would say, 'Oh look, there's Rory Gilmore. She used to be so motivated, and so pretty, but now she is naught but sluggishness, paleness and eyebags!'"
For her beauty, humour and intelligence, Rory Gilmore definitely has this reporters vote.
Jonathon Crane
Beka Valentine
Yesterday afternoon, posters appeared on campus billboards promoting a relative unknown for the position of Academic Affairs Coordinator. One Jonathon Crane, the write-in candidate who proclaims himself best for the job because “he likes academics.”
Crane’s campaign platform includes broad promises to:
• bridge the gap between students and faculty
• listen to students and teachers alike
When approached, Crane will indicate that his primary concern in running for this position is a fair election. That is, he believes elections shouldn’t be popularity contests, and students should have a choice in all positions. At his last school, the student council elections turned on who liked whom, rather than who was best qualified for the job. He fears that may be the case at Fandom High as well.
Initially, he didn’t appear to think much of the opposition, suggesting that winning votes by promising sex was a dirty tactic. Crane is very concerned that qualifications be the issue in voter-choice. Yet he concedes that the so-called Parker slate has put together an effective marketing strategy. He doesn’t believe, however, that it will serve them in the end.
Even after talking to Crane, it’s difficult to pin down his positions on relevant issues. Effective communication and civil discourse are high on his list. Civility to the extent that he agreed to a pre-debate deal with the opposition that neither party will make sex an issue during the debates. This indicates a willingness to compromise and skill in potentially hostile negotiations.
He also shows a strong ability to empathize across gender and political lines. A compliment on the use of purple in his campaign posters led to polite conversation with the opposition about good and bad colors, wherein he declared that teal would bring out her eyes. He also agreed with her that wearing pink was enough to make a person want to kill his or herself.
Jonathon Crane: the candidate for Academic Affairs who likes academics, wants better communication, and hates pink.
Beka Valentine
Angela Chase
Beka Valentine is one of the candidates running for the Academic Affairs position at Fandom High this fall. Through that role, she hopes to enhance teacher-student relationships and make things safer for all students.
The 17-year-old grew up mostly in the Andromeda Galaxy, about 3,500 years after the present day. Her world may not be so different from this one. “ I never thought of myself as the sort of person who'd want to hold an elected office. In my world, the only people who do that are corrupt,” she said.
That may have helped foster the protective streak that has lead to her choice to run for elected office. “If someone's in trouble, if I know them, I'll go to almost stupid lengths to help.
There are things that happen here, like the weapons ban, that worry me. Also, there are teachers who worry me. I have good relationships with a lot of the teachers, and I want to use those to help make things better and safer for the students,” she says.
In addition to her candidacy, Valentine’s other activities at the school include acting as an assistant to Sex Ed teacher Dawn and campaigning against the weapons ban.
OP-ED:
WHY SHOULD WE CARE?
George Lass
As an assignment for one of his Journalism classes, Professor Spider Jerusalem asked his students what they believe the outcome will be of this year's student elections.
What he should ask is why any of us should give half a shit.
The student election process is nothing more than a masturbatory, Administration-endorsed popularity contest. Who has the biggest fucking mouth on campus? Who makes the best posters? Who has the best slogans? Who promises to haul in gallons of Perkolator-brand coffee to the dorms? Who do you want to be friends with so desperately that you'd vote for them hoping to win their friendship and approval? Who cares!?
The student government has no real authority and holds no sway over the school Administration. It's a sham, a figurehead organization formed in an attempt to appease the poor little children, to make them feel like they have some control over their tiny little lives. Whether the Administration will truly recognize the Student Government as vehicle for change in this school remains to be seen.
POLITICS FOR THE NOW!
Chloe Sullivan
With the rise of a technology-centric culture across the world, the collective attention span of society is getting shorter every day. People only care about things that are new and exciting, and unfortunately, most brands of politics do not fall into either of these categories.
But as society has evolved, the elections process has started to take action to follow suit, leading to a much more interesting elections process. Each year, the mud-slinging gets worse as candidates dig deeper into the pasts of their opponents, digging up the finest dirt they can find. Nothing is sacred anymore. But each year, the number of people who go to the polls to vote increases.
Politics is no longer an arena for good-hearted men who want to change the world. But the world isn't like that anymore either, and if the job of politicians is to remain, it must match what society needs.
NOT ENOUGH MUDSLINGING IN STUDENT POLITICS
Medusa
Political mudslinging is a time-honored tradition amongst candidates running for nearly every election.
Why, then, are none of our candidates following through? Could it be that they're nice people, concerned with working in harmony for the greater good of the school, or are they perhaps just ignorant?
Here, at the very beginning of the candidates' campaign, we see everyone working diligently on campaign posters, some of which sport endorsements from various sponsors, but none of them carry any indication of why one particular candidate is better than another.
How is the student body to choose, when frequently all that's known is the name or face of the student running? No platforms have been announced, discussed, or debated. How is the student body to know what one candidate is for unless they're calling out something another candidate is against?
Perhaps, in the coming week, the candidates will get in line behind this ancient and respected institution. Perhaps the students will be given reason to choose one candidate over another, in humorous yet vitriolic words.
We shall wait and see.
WHO SHOULD LEAD FANDOM HIGH?
Editorial by: Angelus
As Fandom High's first Student Council elections draw near, it is obvious that the campaign trail has brought out the best and the worst of our fair school. Less obvious, perhaps, is how to ensure that only the former makes it past the election and into victory.
Surprisingly, the biggest issue of the campaign turned out not to be the weapons ban but the ever-growing divide between humans and non-humans within the student population. Though the fear had been present before the elections started, it was arguably not helped by the events of the campaign. Independent candidates were quickly overshadowed by tickets which presented students with the off-putting choice of either being for a solid block of very similar people, or finding themselves in the minority against them.
Uglier still was the decision to abandon all pretense of tolerance by airing attack ads against the one candidate who was not only non-human, but who had been brave enough to be open and honest about it.
All hope is not lost, however. Though two thirds of the candidates tried to assure their fellow students otherwise, the choice on election day is not a matter of "The Hottest" vs "Batsh*t" vs. everyone else (including the late arrival of "F*ck the Ticket"). Instead, it is a matter of ignoring the labels and aiming for the very acceptance of diversity that Fandom High currently wishes it could claim. In spite of the tickets, in spite of the anti-non-human slander, in spite of the depressingly large proportion of human to non-human candidates which in no way represented the same proportion to be found within Fandom High's walls, it is possible to separate the wheat from the chaff, and for all students to vote for the individual candidates whose goodness and qualifications just might help to bring Fandom High through the clearly dark times ahead.
A rundown by category:
STUDENT RELATIONS
Of all the categories the one of Student Relations proved to be the tightest race. Both candidates are human. Both are exceedingly qualified. Both handled themselves well in the debates.
However, the nod must ultimately be given to Rory Gilmore. Though Lindsay McDonald is certainly capable, it was Rory who went the extra mile to reach out to her fellow students from the moment she entered Fandom High's doors. Even before she threw her hat into the ring, Rory proved that as a Student Relations Officer, she could put her money where her mouth is. Her friendly smile graced human and non-human alike, and it is without a doubt that she will bring that same spirit and boundless optimism with her into office.
ACADEMIC AFFAIRS
Two write-in candidates made this position a hotly contested one. Wednesday Addams was the first to challenge Beka Valentine's claim to the throne, followed by latecomer Jonathan Crane.
Though Jonathan tried he could not get his campaign together in time to let the student populace know what he was about. Wednesday Addams had a much stronger presence, however her stance on issues such as the clear double standards applied during dentention made the view of her in office a troubling one. Can any of us truly vote for someone who thinks it's acceptable to give psychological trauma to anyone who crosses the faculty, regardless of the severity of their crime?
No, it is Beka Valentine who admirably handled the threats presented to her candidacy. When her challengers presented themselves, she treated them calmly and respectfully--no sign of her supposedly hot temper to be found here. Moreover, she was the first to react with shock and horror to the anti-non-human attack ad. Though human herself, she was not afraid to risk losing friends by taking a stance against the tides of hatred. It is without a doubt that she will continue to do so if the office is hers.
SECURITY
Security presents a great divide. Two candidates, both wildly different. So much so that it is impossible to say if either one could be all things to all students.
Martin Blank was certainly the more colorful and attention-grabbing of the two. Bright and engaging, Martin's charisma made many students care about the elections who otherwise might not have.
However his history at the school is checkered. He's as well known for his efforts to eradicate mimes as he is for his multiple violations of school rules and subsequent detentions. While the latter would seem to make it a slam dunk not to vote for him, on the other hand it arguably shows that there are few better than he to know the weaknesses of Fandom High and thus protect them.
Conversely Alanna of Trebond was a much quieter candidate. She had no flashy PR to endear herself to the student body. Though, given her magical ways, perhaps it served her best to stay in the background where her different nature would have undoubtedly made her the object of ridicule and scorn, sadly by members of her very own campaign staff.
She did stand out with strength and conviction during the debates, however. Moreover, it is clear that she possesses an inner goodness that not even the worst members of this school could corrupt.
In an ideal world both she and Marty would win the title. In Fandom High, students must decide for themselves if they feel they are better served by one who can learn from his mistakes, or one who has yet to make them in the first place.
TREASURER
For the job of Treasurer it is Callisto who undoubtedly earns the title. Jessica Atredies was firm and competant in her campaigning, but did not stand out against her competition. As for Anya Jenkins, the less said about her deplorable stance that the only good demon is an ex-demon, the better.
No, Callisto proved that she had the diplomacy needed to relate to her fellow students, as well as the skills that are required for the job of treasurer. A woman who can control an entire army and the money demands that come with it is more than qualified to handle the task of the Student Council's monetary needs.
SECRETARY
Though Elizabeth Swann is courteous and polite enough, she failed to make enough of an impression in her campaigns to overshadow Faith Lehane. Granted, it's possible Faith had an unfair advantage over her due to her very public work in various clubs and school activities like Fandom Radio. However it's that very public work which makes her ideally suited for the job. Faith is smart, organized, eager to communicate, and certainly a woman who has yet to met a fellow student
that she doesn't like.
VICE PRESIDENT
This title drew the most attention due to candidate Belthazor's victimization during the campaigning. One of the few openly non-humans at Fandom High, let alone running for Student Council, Belthazor tried to hold up under extreme circumstances and did admirably well. Most notably in his stance at the first debate that he would not participate at any event in which all candidates were not welcome--would that his fellow candidates could have said the same for him prior to the airing of the ad--and in the second debate in which he publically stated his forgiveness and understanding of those who had tried to hurt him.
But the office of Vice President demands more than that and it is in this that both Belthazor and Gaius Baltar failed to make their marks. Though intelligent and well spoken during the debates, they did not match up to Elizabeth Weir who managed, in spite of illness, to impress the audience with her words, particularly on such issues as discrimination, the weapons ban, and ultimately the meaning of the office of Vice President itself.
Were Elizabeth to be given the role of Vice President, it is certain that Fandom High would not be disappointed in her.
PRESIDENT
Finally there is the office of President. Perhaps the tightest ticket of all, but rightly so as it is ultimately the most important. The one who holds the job must try to manage to be all things to all students, intelligent and commanding, firm yet compassionate, and willing to show that everyone is welcome, protected, and valued at Fandom High.
Only one candidate hit all those marks.
Number Six tried, and is to be admired for his deftness and skill during the debates. However he stumbled on questions that required he showed a feeling of camraderie with his peers. He came off as aloof, and elitist, both of which are disappointing traits for one who aspires to represent the entire student body. Moreover for all that he claimed to want to embrace diversity, there was little sign of that on the ticket that he put together. A ticket which, in and of itself, carried the uncomfortable sensation of pretending to be for the ostrasized students of Fandom High without actually including them.
Phoebe Halliwell's warm personality and good heart made it clear that there would be room for everyone in her Presidential office, and that was even before being forced to out herself as being a witch clearly long before she felt safe and comfortable revealing that information to her fellow students.
Phoebe is also intelligent, and involved in school. But during the campaign it became clear that she was not quite ready to be President. She entered the field late--with the best of intentions to replace prior nominee Lisa Cuddy--and it was perhaps that which made her vulnerable to poor campaign planning on all parts. While it is true that Phoebe had nothing to do with the attack ad, and bravely denounced it once it aired, it is also true that she as a candidate was unaware of the goings-on of her own campaign staff. If she hasn't the skills to monitor her own helpers, how can she have the skills
needed to oversee the school?
It is clear that Phoebe is destined for great things, however, and it is hoped that when elections come around again next year that she once more throws her hat into the ring.
That leaves Draco Malfoy. Magic user and brave enough to show it, Draco distinguished himself right from the start by immediately plunging into his classwork, earning the respect of his teachers, joining active and dynamic school clubs, and befriending all students both human and non-human alike.
Poised and informed during the debates, Draco held up admirably to questions that dredged up inaccurate rumors from his home dimension--how could anyone accuse the one who took Lily Evans to Homecoming of being classist or racist?--and even to questions which tried to imply that any body modifications that he might possess were a sign of evil.
Not content to rest on the laurels of his family's history, Draco worked hard to present himself and his positions to his classmates, relying on an advertising campaign that was notable for focusing on what Draco is, rather than, as some candidates chose, defining himself as being better simply because he wasn't part of any number of maligned and marginalized groups.
As for diversity, it is noteworthy that, of all the candidates, only Draco actually took the time to befriend and earn the respect of the school chef, a task that apparently others felt was beneath them.
It's easy for many to throw stones and try to tear Draco down because he was fortunate enough to be born into the upper classes, but those who have met him know that all classes, all students, and all members of Fandom High would be well taken care of by him. May they cast their votes accordingly.
PREDICTED OUTCOME:
Xander Harris
Life will go on like before, only we'll have new people to complain about: same shit, different day. Student elections will be swept by the people who always sweep student elections: the rich kids, the hot kids, the evil and hot kids, the rich and hot kids, the evil hot rich kids, and the token well-meaning nerd. The evil kids who are frankly all hot, the assholes will do a bunch of evil stuff-- which they were already doing, but now it will be government-sanctioned evil. Which you'd think would bore them a little, given how breathtakingly rare that isn't.
Maia Rutledge
Like most elections around the world, this one will not reflect the feeling of the overall student body but merely reflect which student is the most popular with the biggest bankroll behind their campaign. While the student elections are a chance to bring the student body together and encourage intermingling among the various species here at Fandom High, the results will do nothing but solitify the underlying tensions of good and evil here at Fandom High. I for one, am look forward to it. This reporter hopes to see a lot of mudslinging, trash campaigning all over the halls. I would tell you the results of the campaign, but wouldn't it be more fun to wait?
Chihaya
Free elections should be nothing more than contests about who can wear orange and not look like some 1970’s clothing reject. Require the candidates, for one week, to wear Fiestaware orange and carry it off with dignity and style.
Award points for creative accessorizing; using flashy earrings, obnoxious wooden beads, and flouncey bows in their hair.
Using black to accent is cheating. Color accents would need to be restricted to the seven colors of the rainbow when trying to carry off the color orange in their wardrobe.
Because, who cares about their platform? People will vote for the prettiest anyway.
Joan Girardi
Like student elections everywhere, the students with the most backing, the most money, and the best campaign will be the ones to win. It doesn’t really matter if they’ll do a good job or not – some will and some won’t – but who’s in charge of their campaign and how popular they are.
Anyone who thinks differently is probably way too involved in it all. It’s just a student government, nothing that important. And unless whoever’s elected can do something about the zombies that attack the school, the weird gremlins, and this disgusting food in the cafeteria, it’s probably just a waste of effort anyway.
ISSUES
COFFEE, COFFEE, COFFEE
Jake Gavin jr
What is being done so we can have better and more readily available coffee on campus?
Are any of our candidates working on this?
Because I, and many with me, sure would like to know. Perhaps each classroom can be outfitted with an espresso machine? Hourly deliveries from the Perkolator? Kill and bury who/whatever is in charge of the cantina coffee? (I bet it's that damn chicken.)
There must be many things that can be done, and I want to know how the candidates stand on this issue.
In conclusion: Better coffee on campus. What's being done?
STUDENT INVOLVMENT
Rory Gilmore
As a participant in this election, I personally would enjoy seeing more of my fellow candidates addressing the issue of student involvement in their government.
I continuously hear about how the majority of the student body perceives student politics as corrupt - nothing more than a popularity contest, and something for those who are elected to put on their college applications. While that is absolutely true in some cases, student government does have a much more significicant impact on the lives of every student in this school.
I would like to see more candidates confront the idea that they should take input from people who are not neccessarily involved in the government.
At Friday’s Homecoming dance, the couples and threesomes and fivesomes in the case of a certain boy with a cat, came out for a night of “school-sponsored fun that anyone’s parents would approve of,” as Angelus put it. The theme of the party, ‘Come as You Aren’t’ found favor mostly among established couples who had less fear about impressing each other and more interest in having fun. In particular, Rory and Logan, Angela and Marty, looked almost too cute together in Eighties get-ups apparently reflecting a popular movie of that era.
Jack O’Neill was seen not dancing with Professor Cregg and definitely not with his date, Anya. How long will that couple last? Also seen with the extremely popular Professor Cregg was a black-suited Anakin who strove to learn to dance – perhaps trying to impress a certain other Professor, who looked ravishing in tastefully revealing black with gold accents? And Han, of late involved in a sex triangle involving the delicious pretty-boy Bagoas.
Some might suggest Professor Cregg’s popularity inspired her love-interest, the Doctor, known to some as Ten, to ask a certain blonde in thigh-high black boots to dance. But that would be idle speculation. Very idle. Still, the Doctor and his not-date by all accounts had a lovely dance. And the Doctor’s dance partner’s escort wasn’t even a little bit jealous.
Love-tangles seemed to be the order of the night from yet another quarter. The notoriously emo Lee Adama burned up the floor with his not-love interests Kara Thrace and John Crichton. Crichton it should be noted couldn’t dance to save his love, but the not-couple took pity on him for awhile and pretended not to notice. Lee’s actual-date, Veronica, left the dance early, complaining of a headache, and shortly thereafter, Lee got a little tipsy at the punchbowl while chatting with John Sheppard of the semi-sentient hair. If anything might have come of that conversation, it was dramatically cut short when emo-Lee stomped off in the direction of Kara Thrace and wasn’t heard from again. No one would be surprised to discover he’s still a card-carrying member of a special club, but no one knows for sure.
Rogue and Sheldon came to Homecoming together, but left separately, and Sheldon appears to have lost his cane. This can’t bode well, either for the twosome, or for Shel. On the other hand mage-born Malfoy practically danced attendance on fiery redhead Lily Evans. Rumour has it his family has a thing about pure bloodlines, so the question remains what he was doing with a girl who, if mageborn, comes from a non-magical family.. Some might’ve imagined their relationship to be star-crossed but from the look in Draco’s eyes, that’s definitely not the case. It’s to be hoped that star-struck Maia Rutledge, whose red Gucci dress turned more than a few heads, has as much luck with the option of her affections, Professor Sara Sidle, who displayed the epitome of decorum while chaperoning the dance.
No trouble in paradise for Geoff and Paige, who win the award for tipsiest and most codependent couple. Or DEATH and Dierdre, resplendent in black and silver, but some are wondering who wears the pants in that relationship. Jake may have worn a red dress to the dance, but somewhere in there is a guy, which leaves orientation issues very much in doubt for hir date Alex Krycek. Drs. House and Wilson also have a pants problem, but no others, if the scorching kiss they reportedly shared means anything at all.
After turning down her first and second possible escorts, Homecoming Queen Cally, unusually radiant in orange, had a proper date in suavely dressed Xander Harris…at least until Xander got into a conversation with someone Cally had seen in a compromising position and things grew a little uncomfortable for her.
Angelus, on the other hand, put to rest all rumors of his evil evil playboy ways by behaving like a goofy-in-love innocent schoolboy with date Lisa Cuddy. Lisa, it must be said, didn’t seem to mind the attention one bit. If this keeps up, the two may start spending Sundays at church reading to the blind. Meanwhile, supposed innocent charmer Archie Kennedy stole serious kissage from his date Lana Lang outside under the stars. Monochromatic wild-child Chiana, though less gray than usual for this dance, surprised no one by making with the naughty touching with sort of two-dimensional but well-rounded date Roy Mustang. And roommate-couple Duce and Oz left the dance early to engage in what can only be assumed to be some very naughty play.
Things look to be heating up with Scooter and Red, spotted in the conga line and also slow-dancing, staying even-keel for Allie Cameron and Logan Huntzberger, cruising along for Zero and Broots, and shaking up for a perky Miss Parker – who it must be said behaved very oddly, even for her. One of the sweetest moments of the night, and most beautiful, came when lovelorn emodemon Belthazor literally shimmered his stunning sweetheart Phoebe away on waves of silver. Later a friend saw the two talking intimately, and hopefully working out their problems.
That’s all from Shipping News this week. See you back here in seven for more UST, sex and angst.
Credits:
Editors: Chloe Sullivan & Jake Gavin jr
Words: Chloe Sullivan, Jake Gavin jr, Alex Krycek, George Lass, Angelus Beka Valentine, Angela Chase, Jessica Atreides, Medusa, Rory Gilmore, Chihaya, Maia Rutledge, Xander Harris, Rogue, Caroline Todd, Joan Girardi
Illustrations: D'Anna Biers & Gettyimages
Presidential candidates
Draco Malfoy
Lady Jessica Atreides
Although I am running, I have chosen to write an article about Draco Malfoy:
As Draco Malfoy, one of our candidates for President, states: “I'd like to run for president. Political interest runs in my family, you know.” There have been some very quiet mutterings about his decision to run. Several of our students from his dimension who were familiar with him prior to enrollment at Fandom High do not appear to be overly fond of him, and it may be fairly argued that running solely because of family is not an appropriate platform on which to run.
On the other hand, Malfoy has not caused a great deal of havoc at Fandom since the term started, and this might in fact cause many to believe that, at the very least, he would do no harm, and that, at best, he may be good for the school. There is, of course, also the possible view that a little bit of political plotting will make life at our high school more interesting and excessively involved than it usually is. It is, in fact, quite possible that he will be voted into office solely for the purpose of a bit of mayhem. More than a few individuals residing in Fandom find chaos to be highly amusing.
Phoebe Halliwell
Jake Gavin jr
Phoebe Halliwell is running for President because she cares, because she can see the possibilities of the position to change things, and because she feels the president should be someone approachable and friendly.
She believes that while the responsibilities of the president will be many and time consuming, she will be able to handle it despite her prior commitments as a TA for professor Spider Jerusalem (among other things). We asked her if she thought she could be an uniting figure for the school. Her answer?
"I have a lot of friends, both human and non-human. I reach out to anyone that needs me or that I see being treated unfairly. It's why I'm no longer running on my previous ticket. I believe that if you feel strongly about something, you should be willing to stand up for it, no matter the consequences.
"If I get elected? I have many plans. However, all plans fail if there is no interest. I want to organize events to get each student willing to learn from and interact with their fellow students."
She is talking about is things like festivals and carnivals, events that get people working and interacting together. Maybe a few specialized field trips to different homelands. She is of the opinion that there's a plethora of things waiting to be discovered and done.
When questioned about the Coffee issue, she replied, "We need more of it."
Number Six
Caroline Todd
Number 6 is a very interesting candidate. He seems to have a fear many thing, even the school itself sometimes. He also seems to, (only to the untrained eye?), be trying to escape Fandom High.
Considering the tentacle monsters, the scary lockers, the magic and mayhem that ensues every day here (and night mind you) I think he would make a very good President.
The more paraniod the better I see it.
He also doesn’t seem to be a mind reader, gun shooter, magic user or .. well… dead. To me all of these things lend points to why I should vote for him.
Apart from that, he seems to stand for freedom and individuality, general rightness in the world and happy puppies. Perhaps not the puppies, but they would help. Anyway, number six is everything the typical president should be. The question is do we want a typical president?
Vice president candidates
Cole Turner
Chloe Sullivan
At first glance, Cole Turner might seem like the kind of person who would avoid student elections as much as possible. In fact, Turner never planned on running at all. "[I]t was kind of a joke," he said. "Then that video of me comes out the other day...I was minding my own business, not even putting up posters or making radio ads, and someone in the competition felt the need to illegally hack into the schools' security system and try to humiliate me and scare the other students...I thought, you know, maybe I should take this more seriously, because if I was elected, I would make sure that no student, human or otherwise, would have to deal with that kind of unpleasant situation. I think most of the people running for office are human, but we non-humans should have a voice too."
Asked what else he would do if elected, Turner replied that he would form a good relationship with the elected president, and would work towards being a communicator between students and the administration, to put a voice to the students' most pressing concerns.
Elizabeth Weir
Veronica Mars
not in as of going to press.
Gaius Baltar
Alex Krycek
Gaius Baltar, lately of Caprica, is the vice presidential candidate from the Batsh*t Crazy Party, one of three candidates for the office. At the debates, he's held his own against the other candidates with a platform dedicated to using the office as a vehicle for the addressing of student concerns and the equal treatment of all intelligent beings.
Intelligence is a particular topic of interest for Baltar, given his own background; the youngest winner of the Magnate Prize, the most distinguished award in the field of science on his home world, and the only three-time winner in existence, Baltar holds that intelligence is all that separates us from mere animals. Sentient machines seem to be a concern for Baltar, as he assured the room that those who are not traditionally considered to be members of society would enjoy equal consideration with humans and humanoid beings under his party's election. When this reporter asked if Baltar was speaking to them directly (given that at no time during this part of the interview was he addressed or even looked at), no answer was given save an assurance that we were at least included in the delivery.
When not twitching or staring into space, Baltar made sure that we knew his intelligence would be a profound contribution to the student council. This reporter has no doubt that there is little Baltar believes he can't do.
Other candidates
Martin Blank
Rogue
I believe that Martin Blank will be elected as security officer. He has been the first, and so far, the only, candidate to use mass media advertising. Studies have repeatedly shown that candidates with the highest name recognition fare the best, and I, as an average student at Fandom High, could not name any other student running for public office.
Marty has also recieved recommendations from several professors and community members. As such, he has proven his political prowess in bartering with those in positions of power. He even convinced the police to endorse him after his night in jail.
Rory Gilmore
Jake Gavin jr
Rory Gilmore is running for Student Relations officer. In her campaign she is using coffee as a motivator and bribe, something that shows a keen insight into the student body. Should she win her mission is to keep the students updated, through the media, on the changes and stuff being made in the student government.
"I mean, so many people feel like student politics have nothing to do with them - and I want to fix that," she told this reporter confidently. She adds; " You have a concern, or a question, take it up with me. And I'll do what I can to address everyone."
She's not all seriousness, however, and joked quite happily about her caffeine addiction. "Well, coffee, of course, keeps my platform going. Without coffee, it wouldn't be so much as a campaign as a sad observation. People would say, 'Oh look, there's Rory Gilmore. She used to be so motivated, and so pretty, but now she is naught but sluggishness, paleness and eyebags!'"
For her beauty, humour and intelligence, Rory Gilmore definitely has this reporters vote.
Jonathon Crane
Beka Valentine
Yesterday afternoon, posters appeared on campus billboards promoting a relative unknown for the position of Academic Affairs Coordinator. One Jonathon Crane, the write-in candidate who proclaims himself best for the job because “he likes academics.”
Crane’s campaign platform includes broad promises to:
• bridge the gap between students and faculty
• listen to students and teachers alike
When approached, Crane will indicate that his primary concern in running for this position is a fair election. That is, he believes elections shouldn’t be popularity contests, and students should have a choice in all positions. At his last school, the student council elections turned on who liked whom, rather than who was best qualified for the job. He fears that may be the case at Fandom High as well.
Initially, he didn’t appear to think much of the opposition, suggesting that winning votes by promising sex was a dirty tactic. Crane is very concerned that qualifications be the issue in voter-choice. Yet he concedes that the so-called Parker slate has put together an effective marketing strategy. He doesn’t believe, however, that it will serve them in the end.
Even after talking to Crane, it’s difficult to pin down his positions on relevant issues. Effective communication and civil discourse are high on his list. Civility to the extent that he agreed to a pre-debate deal with the opposition that neither party will make sex an issue during the debates. This indicates a willingness to compromise and skill in potentially hostile negotiations.
He also shows a strong ability to empathize across gender and political lines. A compliment on the use of purple in his campaign posters led to polite conversation with the opposition about good and bad colors, wherein he declared that teal would bring out her eyes. He also agreed with her that wearing pink was enough to make a person want to kill his or herself.
Jonathon Crane: the candidate for Academic Affairs who likes academics, wants better communication, and hates pink.
Beka Valentine
Angela Chase
Beka Valentine is one of the candidates running for the Academic Affairs position at Fandom High this fall. Through that role, she hopes to enhance teacher-student relationships and make things safer for all students.
The 17-year-old grew up mostly in the Andromeda Galaxy, about 3,500 years after the present day. Her world may not be so different from this one. “ I never thought of myself as the sort of person who'd want to hold an elected office. In my world, the only people who do that are corrupt,” she said.
That may have helped foster the protective streak that has lead to her choice to run for elected office. “If someone's in trouble, if I know them, I'll go to almost stupid lengths to help.
There are things that happen here, like the weapons ban, that worry me. Also, there are teachers who worry me. I have good relationships with a lot of the teachers, and I want to use those to help make things better and safer for the students,” she says.
In addition to her candidacy, Valentine’s other activities at the school include acting as an assistant to Sex Ed teacher Dawn and campaigning against the weapons ban.
OP-ED:
WHY SHOULD WE CARE?
George Lass
As an assignment for one of his Journalism classes, Professor Spider Jerusalem asked his students what they believe the outcome will be of this year's student elections.
What he should ask is why any of us should give half a shit.
The student election process is nothing more than a masturbatory, Administration-endorsed popularity contest. Who has the biggest fucking mouth on campus? Who makes the best posters? Who has the best slogans? Who promises to haul in gallons of Perkolator-brand coffee to the dorms? Who do you want to be friends with so desperately that you'd vote for them hoping to win their friendship and approval? Who cares!?
The student government has no real authority and holds no sway over the school Administration. It's a sham, a figurehead organization formed in an attempt to appease the poor little children, to make them feel like they have some control over their tiny little lives. Whether the Administration will truly recognize the Student Government as vehicle for change in this school remains to be seen.
POLITICS FOR THE NOW!
Chloe Sullivan
With the rise of a technology-centric culture across the world, the collective attention span of society is getting shorter every day. People only care about things that are new and exciting, and unfortunately, most brands of politics do not fall into either of these categories.
But as society has evolved, the elections process has started to take action to follow suit, leading to a much more interesting elections process. Each year, the mud-slinging gets worse as candidates dig deeper into the pasts of their opponents, digging up the finest dirt they can find. Nothing is sacred anymore. But each year, the number of people who go to the polls to vote increases.
Politics is no longer an arena for good-hearted men who want to change the world. But the world isn't like that anymore either, and if the job of politicians is to remain, it must match what society needs.
NOT ENOUGH MUDSLINGING IN STUDENT POLITICS
Medusa
Political mudslinging is a time-honored tradition amongst candidates running for nearly every election.
Why, then, are none of our candidates following through? Could it be that they're nice people, concerned with working in harmony for the greater good of the school, or are they perhaps just ignorant?
Here, at the very beginning of the candidates' campaign, we see everyone working diligently on campaign posters, some of which sport endorsements from various sponsors, but none of them carry any indication of why one particular candidate is better than another.
How is the student body to choose, when frequently all that's known is the name or face of the student running? No platforms have been announced, discussed, or debated. How is the student body to know what one candidate is for unless they're calling out something another candidate is against?
Perhaps, in the coming week, the candidates will get in line behind this ancient and respected institution. Perhaps the students will be given reason to choose one candidate over another, in humorous yet vitriolic words.
We shall wait and see.
WHO SHOULD LEAD FANDOM HIGH?
Editorial by: Angelus
As Fandom High's first Student Council elections draw near, it is obvious that the campaign trail has brought out the best and the worst of our fair school. Less obvious, perhaps, is how to ensure that only the former makes it past the election and into victory.
Surprisingly, the biggest issue of the campaign turned out not to be the weapons ban but the ever-growing divide between humans and non-humans within the student population. Though the fear had been present before the elections started, it was arguably not helped by the events of the campaign. Independent candidates were quickly overshadowed by tickets which presented students with the off-putting choice of either being for a solid block of very similar people, or finding themselves in the minority against them.
Uglier still was the decision to abandon all pretense of tolerance by airing attack ads against the one candidate who was not only non-human, but who had been brave enough to be open and honest about it.
All hope is not lost, however. Though two thirds of the candidates tried to assure their fellow students otherwise, the choice on election day is not a matter of "The Hottest" vs "Batsh*t" vs. everyone else (including the late arrival of "F*ck the Ticket"). Instead, it is a matter of ignoring the labels and aiming for the very acceptance of diversity that Fandom High currently wishes it could claim. In spite of the tickets, in spite of the anti-non-human slander, in spite of the depressingly large proportion of human to non-human candidates which in no way represented the same proportion to be found within Fandom High's walls, it is possible to separate the wheat from the chaff, and for all students to vote for the individual candidates whose goodness and qualifications just might help to bring Fandom High through the clearly dark times ahead.
A rundown by category:
STUDENT RELATIONS
Of all the categories the one of Student Relations proved to be the tightest race. Both candidates are human. Both are exceedingly qualified. Both handled themselves well in the debates.
However, the nod must ultimately be given to Rory Gilmore. Though Lindsay McDonald is certainly capable, it was Rory who went the extra mile to reach out to her fellow students from the moment she entered Fandom High's doors. Even before she threw her hat into the ring, Rory proved that as a Student Relations Officer, she could put her money where her mouth is. Her friendly smile graced human and non-human alike, and it is without a doubt that she will bring that same spirit and boundless optimism with her into office.
ACADEMIC AFFAIRS
Two write-in candidates made this position a hotly contested one. Wednesday Addams was the first to challenge Beka Valentine's claim to the throne, followed by latecomer Jonathan Crane.
Though Jonathan tried he could not get his campaign together in time to let the student populace know what he was about. Wednesday Addams had a much stronger presence, however her stance on issues such as the clear double standards applied during dentention made the view of her in office a troubling one. Can any of us truly vote for someone who thinks it's acceptable to give psychological trauma to anyone who crosses the faculty, regardless of the severity of their crime?
No, it is Beka Valentine who admirably handled the threats presented to her candidacy. When her challengers presented themselves, she treated them calmly and respectfully--no sign of her supposedly hot temper to be found here. Moreover, she was the first to react with shock and horror to the anti-non-human attack ad. Though human herself, she was not afraid to risk losing friends by taking a stance against the tides of hatred. It is without a doubt that she will continue to do so if the office is hers.
SECURITY
Security presents a great divide. Two candidates, both wildly different. So much so that it is impossible to say if either one could be all things to all students.
Martin Blank was certainly the more colorful and attention-grabbing of the two. Bright and engaging, Martin's charisma made many students care about the elections who otherwise might not have.
However his history at the school is checkered. He's as well known for his efforts to eradicate mimes as he is for his multiple violations of school rules and subsequent detentions. While the latter would seem to make it a slam dunk not to vote for him, on the other hand it arguably shows that there are few better than he to know the weaknesses of Fandom High and thus protect them.
Conversely Alanna of Trebond was a much quieter candidate. She had no flashy PR to endear herself to the student body. Though, given her magical ways, perhaps it served her best to stay in the background where her different nature would have undoubtedly made her the object of ridicule and scorn, sadly by members of her very own campaign staff.
She did stand out with strength and conviction during the debates, however. Moreover, it is clear that she possesses an inner goodness that not even the worst members of this school could corrupt.
In an ideal world both she and Marty would win the title. In Fandom High, students must decide for themselves if they feel they are better served by one who can learn from his mistakes, or one who has yet to make them in the first place.
TREASURER
For the job of Treasurer it is Callisto who undoubtedly earns the title. Jessica Atredies was firm and competant in her campaigning, but did not stand out against her competition. As for Anya Jenkins, the less said about her deplorable stance that the only good demon is an ex-demon, the better.
No, Callisto proved that she had the diplomacy needed to relate to her fellow students, as well as the skills that are required for the job of treasurer. A woman who can control an entire army and the money demands that come with it is more than qualified to handle the task of the Student Council's monetary needs.
SECRETARY
Though Elizabeth Swann is courteous and polite enough, she failed to make enough of an impression in her campaigns to overshadow Faith Lehane. Granted, it's possible Faith had an unfair advantage over her due to her very public work in various clubs and school activities like Fandom Radio. However it's that very public work which makes her ideally suited for the job. Faith is smart, organized, eager to communicate, and certainly a woman who has yet to met a fellow student
that she doesn't like.
VICE PRESIDENT
This title drew the most attention due to candidate Belthazor's victimization during the campaigning. One of the few openly non-humans at Fandom High, let alone running for Student Council, Belthazor tried to hold up under extreme circumstances and did admirably well. Most notably in his stance at the first debate that he would not participate at any event in which all candidates were not welcome--would that his fellow candidates could have said the same for him prior to the airing of the ad--and in the second debate in which he publically stated his forgiveness and understanding of those who had tried to hurt him.
But the office of Vice President demands more than that and it is in this that both Belthazor and Gaius Baltar failed to make their marks. Though intelligent and well spoken during the debates, they did not match up to Elizabeth Weir who managed, in spite of illness, to impress the audience with her words, particularly on such issues as discrimination, the weapons ban, and ultimately the meaning of the office of Vice President itself.
Were Elizabeth to be given the role of Vice President, it is certain that Fandom High would not be disappointed in her.
PRESIDENT
Finally there is the office of President. Perhaps the tightest ticket of all, but rightly so as it is ultimately the most important. The one who holds the job must try to manage to be all things to all students, intelligent and commanding, firm yet compassionate, and willing to show that everyone is welcome, protected, and valued at Fandom High.
Only one candidate hit all those marks.
Number Six tried, and is to be admired for his deftness and skill during the debates. However he stumbled on questions that required he showed a feeling of camraderie with his peers. He came off as aloof, and elitist, both of which are disappointing traits for one who aspires to represent the entire student body. Moreover for all that he claimed to want to embrace diversity, there was little sign of that on the ticket that he put together. A ticket which, in and of itself, carried the uncomfortable sensation of pretending to be for the ostrasized students of Fandom High without actually including them.
Phoebe Halliwell's warm personality and good heart made it clear that there would be room for everyone in her Presidential office, and that was even before being forced to out herself as being a witch clearly long before she felt safe and comfortable revealing that information to her fellow students.
Phoebe is also intelligent, and involved in school. But during the campaign it became clear that she was not quite ready to be President. She entered the field late--with the best of intentions to replace prior nominee Lisa Cuddy--and it was perhaps that which made her vulnerable to poor campaign planning on all parts. While it is true that Phoebe had nothing to do with the attack ad, and bravely denounced it once it aired, it is also true that she as a candidate was unaware of the goings-on of her own campaign staff. If she hasn't the skills to monitor her own helpers, how can she have the skills
needed to oversee the school?
It is clear that Phoebe is destined for great things, however, and it is hoped that when elections come around again next year that she once more throws her hat into the ring.
That leaves Draco Malfoy. Magic user and brave enough to show it, Draco distinguished himself right from the start by immediately plunging into his classwork, earning the respect of his teachers, joining active and dynamic school clubs, and befriending all students both human and non-human alike.
Poised and informed during the debates, Draco held up admirably to questions that dredged up inaccurate rumors from his home dimension--how could anyone accuse the one who took Lily Evans to Homecoming of being classist or racist?--and even to questions which tried to imply that any body modifications that he might possess were a sign of evil.
Not content to rest on the laurels of his family's history, Draco worked hard to present himself and his positions to his classmates, relying on an advertising campaign that was notable for focusing on what Draco is, rather than, as some candidates chose, defining himself as being better simply because he wasn't part of any number of maligned and marginalized groups.
As for diversity, it is noteworthy that, of all the candidates, only Draco actually took the time to befriend and earn the respect of the school chef, a task that apparently others felt was beneath them.
It's easy for many to throw stones and try to tear Draco down because he was fortunate enough to be born into the upper classes, but those who have met him know that all classes, all students, and all members of Fandom High would be well taken care of by him. May they cast their votes accordingly.
PREDICTED OUTCOME:
Xander Harris
Life will go on like before, only we'll have new people to complain about: same shit, different day. Student elections will be swept by the people who always sweep student elections: the rich kids, the hot kids, the evil and hot kids, the rich and hot kids, the evil hot rich kids, and the token well-meaning nerd. The evil kids who are frankly all hot, the assholes will do a bunch of evil stuff-- which they were already doing, but now it will be government-sanctioned evil. Which you'd think would bore them a little, given how breathtakingly rare that isn't.
Maia Rutledge
Like most elections around the world, this one will not reflect the feeling of the overall student body but merely reflect which student is the most popular with the biggest bankroll behind their campaign. While the student elections are a chance to bring the student body together and encourage intermingling among the various species here at Fandom High, the results will do nothing but solitify the underlying tensions of good and evil here at Fandom High. I for one, am look forward to it. This reporter hopes to see a lot of mudslinging, trash campaigning all over the halls. I would tell you the results of the campaign, but wouldn't it be more fun to wait?
Chihaya
Free elections should be nothing more than contests about who can wear orange and not look like some 1970’s clothing reject. Require the candidates, for one week, to wear Fiestaware orange and carry it off with dignity and style.
Award points for creative accessorizing; using flashy earrings, obnoxious wooden beads, and flouncey bows in their hair.
Using black to accent is cheating. Color accents would need to be restricted to the seven colors of the rainbow when trying to carry off the color orange in their wardrobe.
Because, who cares about their platform? People will vote for the prettiest anyway.
Joan Girardi
Like student elections everywhere, the students with the most backing, the most money, and the best campaign will be the ones to win. It doesn’t really matter if they’ll do a good job or not – some will and some won’t – but who’s in charge of their campaign and how popular they are.
Anyone who thinks differently is probably way too involved in it all. It’s just a student government, nothing that important. And unless whoever’s elected can do something about the zombies that attack the school, the weird gremlins, and this disgusting food in the cafeteria, it’s probably just a waste of effort anyway.
ISSUES
COFFEE, COFFEE, COFFEE
Jake Gavin jr
What is being done so we can have better and more readily available coffee on campus?
Are any of our candidates working on this?
Because I, and many with me, sure would like to know. Perhaps each classroom can be outfitted with an espresso machine? Hourly deliveries from the Perkolator? Kill and bury who/whatever is in charge of the cantina coffee? (I bet it's that damn chicken.)
There must be many things that can be done, and I want to know how the candidates stand on this issue.
In conclusion: Better coffee on campus. What's being done?
STUDENT INVOLVMENT
Rory Gilmore
As a participant in this election, I personally would enjoy seeing more of my fellow candidates addressing the issue of student involvement in their government.
I continuously hear about how the majority of the student body perceives student politics as corrupt - nothing more than a popularity contest, and something for those who are elected to put on their college applications. While that is absolutely true in some cases, student government does have a much more significicant impact on the lives of every student in this school.
I would like to see more candidates confront the idea that they should take input from people who are not neccessarily involved in the government.
At Friday’s Homecoming dance, the couples and threesomes and fivesomes in the case of a certain boy with a cat, came out for a night of “school-sponsored fun that anyone’s parents would approve of,” as Angelus put it. The theme of the party, ‘Come as You Aren’t’ found favor mostly among established couples who had less fear about impressing each other and more interest in having fun. In particular, Rory and Logan, Angela and Marty, looked almost too cute together in Eighties get-ups apparently reflecting a popular movie of that era.
Jack O’Neill was seen not dancing with Professor Cregg and definitely not with his date, Anya. How long will that couple last? Also seen with the extremely popular Professor Cregg was a black-suited Anakin who strove to learn to dance – perhaps trying to impress a certain other Professor, who looked ravishing in tastefully revealing black with gold accents? And Han, of late involved in a sex triangle involving the delicious pretty-boy Bagoas.
Some might suggest Professor Cregg’s popularity inspired her love-interest, the Doctor, known to some as Ten, to ask a certain blonde in thigh-high black boots to dance. But that would be idle speculation. Very idle. Still, the Doctor and his not-date by all accounts had a lovely dance. And the Doctor’s dance partner’s escort wasn’t even a little bit jealous.
Love-tangles seemed to be the order of the night from yet another quarter. The notoriously emo Lee Adama burned up the floor with his not-love interests Kara Thrace and John Crichton. Crichton it should be noted couldn’t dance to save his love, but the not-couple took pity on him for awhile and pretended not to notice. Lee’s actual-date, Veronica, left the dance early, complaining of a headache, and shortly thereafter, Lee got a little tipsy at the punchbowl while chatting with John Sheppard of the semi-sentient hair. If anything might have come of that conversation, it was dramatically cut short when emo-Lee stomped off in the direction of Kara Thrace and wasn’t heard from again. No one would be surprised to discover he’s still a card-carrying member of a special club, but no one knows for sure.
Rogue and Sheldon came to Homecoming together, but left separately, and Sheldon appears to have lost his cane. This can’t bode well, either for the twosome, or for Shel. On the other hand mage-born Malfoy practically danced attendance on fiery redhead Lily Evans. Rumour has it his family has a thing about pure bloodlines, so the question remains what he was doing with a girl who, if mageborn, comes from a non-magical family.. Some might’ve imagined their relationship to be star-crossed but from the look in Draco’s eyes, that’s definitely not the case. It’s to be hoped that star-struck Maia Rutledge, whose red Gucci dress turned more than a few heads, has as much luck with the option of her affections, Professor Sara Sidle, who displayed the epitome of decorum while chaperoning the dance.
No trouble in paradise for Geoff and Paige, who win the award for tipsiest and most codependent couple. Or DEATH and Dierdre, resplendent in black and silver, but some are wondering who wears the pants in that relationship. Jake may have worn a red dress to the dance, but somewhere in there is a guy, which leaves orientation issues very much in doubt for hir date Alex Krycek. Drs. House and Wilson also have a pants problem, but no others, if the scorching kiss they reportedly shared means anything at all.
After turning down her first and second possible escorts, Homecoming Queen Cally, unusually radiant in orange, had a proper date in suavely dressed Xander Harris…at least until Xander got into a conversation with someone Cally had seen in a compromising position and things grew a little uncomfortable for her.
Angelus, on the other hand, put to rest all rumors of his evil evil playboy ways by behaving like a goofy-in-love innocent schoolboy with date Lisa Cuddy. Lisa, it must be said, didn’t seem to mind the attention one bit. If this keeps up, the two may start spending Sundays at church reading to the blind. Meanwhile, supposed innocent charmer Archie Kennedy stole serious kissage from his date Lana Lang outside under the stars. Monochromatic wild-child Chiana, though less gray than usual for this dance, surprised no one by making with the naughty touching with sort of two-dimensional but well-rounded date Roy Mustang. And roommate-couple Duce and Oz left the dance early to engage in what can only be assumed to be some very naughty play.
Things look to be heating up with Scooter and Red, spotted in the conga line and also slow-dancing, staying even-keel for Allie Cameron and Logan Huntzberger, cruising along for Zero and Broots, and shaking up for a perky Miss Parker – who it must be said behaved very oddly, even for her. One of the sweetest moments of the night, and most beautiful, came when lovelorn emodemon Belthazor literally shimmered his stunning sweetheart Phoebe away on waves of silver. Later a friend saw the two talking intimately, and hopefully working out their problems.
That’s all from Shipping News this week. See you back here in seven for more UST, sex and angst.
Credits:
Editors: Chloe Sullivan & Jake Gavin jr
Words: Chloe Sullivan, Jake Gavin jr, Alex Krycek, George Lass, Angelus Beka Valentine, Angela Chase, Jessica Atreides, Medusa, Rory Gilmore, Chihaya, Maia Rutledge, Xander Harris, Rogue, Caroline Todd, Joan Girardi
Illustrations: D'Anna Biers & Gettyimages