THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: Volume 4, Eleventh Edition!

[the_merriest]

RIKKU SPEAKS:

Welcome to another semester of the Fandom Hightimes! Every Tuesday, we'll be bringing you the highlights of the latest week in Fandom. But not in the crazy detail that the radio squirrels go into! If we tried that, the paper would be hundreds of pages long!!

It's weird how quickly we adapt to new environments, isn't it? I grew up in a world that didn't have a lot of things you might find here. When the power went out last week, or when the laundry machines all went on strike, I should have felt right at home, because we don't have any of those things back in Spira. But I was frustrated and grumpy like the rest of you. I think I've gotten "spoiled" by all the cool gadgets!! In any case, let's hope winter got that stupid blizzard out of its system and that we might be in for an early spring. (I can dream, can't I?)







Jack Frost's Revenge
by Lee Adama

If you were living under a rock last week, you might have missed the frakking awful weather the island was graced with. For nearly the entire week, the school was blanketed with snow and stripped of power. Yes, we were enduring a snowstorm without any heat. And it was cold. If you weren't cold, well then, I salute but I also secretly hate you because I was frakking freezing. The only respite I had was when Warren Peace, fellow colleague, got us some heat during the newspaper meeting. Thanks, Warren! It was great to feel my fingers again if only for a brief time.

The only places of respite seemed to be in the common rooms, the Danger Shop, and some of the local businesses. The students were left out in the cold. Literally. I took to sleeping in nearly four layers under blankets. You might ask, Lee, why didn't you find someone to cuddle with? Well, that's easy. The only person I want to cuddle with is in Georgia and lives in the past right now. And if I went stupid one day and tried to cuddle with someone else (which isn't going to happen), she'd find ways to kill me.

I'm not kidding.

Anyway, back to the snow. It was amazing to see that life went on pretty normally during the storm. Classes were still taught, clubs were still held and students still ventured out to do their thing. We were all just a little more bundled up than normal. And, while I'm sure many of us lost feeling in our extremities, we probably can't deny that the snow itself (just the snow) was quite the sight to behold upon first seeing it. Of course, that feeling probably evaporated pretty quickly when you went out into the snow and your knees froze.

Luckily, the power came back before the students and staff had to go to drastic measures just to remain cold. What drastic measures you may ask? I'm sure the teachers would have put us all up in cushy hotels on the mainland if it went on much longer. Cushy hotels where we could be warm and study and do homework. Really.

That would have happened. Right?



by Warren Peace

Here we go again, with the new semester. And here I go again, writing another editorial about whatever comes to my mind. But before I begin, I would like to thank Mr. J. Jonah Jameson for correcting me on my incorrect usage of the term "rant column." In spite of the fact that that was a perfect description of what it was that I've been writing, it's good to know that I'm writing an "editorial," too.

Even if that means I'm being a conformist or something.

This semester, I would like to take a slightly different approach to this column, by picking out the good things that Fandom has to offer, and then asking everyone out there on Fandom to stop and think about it for a few minutes. I also would like to reiterate each and every week that I hate you all, but I haven't burned any of you into a pile of smoldering cinders yet. Trust me, this is an accomplishment. Especially taking a few of you into consideration.

But that's beside the point, isn't it? Bathe more often and keep a few steps back from me, and we'll all be happier people. Just trust me on that.

I would like to kick off this semester of My Flaming Trap articles with a subject that happens to be very dear to my heart.

Cookies.

Go ahead. Take a moment. Laugh if you feel you have to. But none of you can deny that there's something special about the cookie. It might be the white stuff in the Oreo that makes you happy, or the melty chocolate that sticks to your teeth when you're eating a fresh chocolate-chip, or even the satisfying snap you get when you break off the head of an unsuspecting gingerbread man. But we all do it. We all enjoy cookies.

Me, I'm a fan of the humble fortune cookie. Not only is it tasty, but it also shares little tidbits of wisdom with each one you eat. Just don't eat those tidbits of wisdom. Paper doesn't taste so good. Honest. Though it is a good size for making spitballs.

Here's my mission for you people for the week. Get cookies, whatever kind you like the best. And then share them with the people around you. Set up some kind of cookie exchange. Like bubblegum cards, only they go better with milk. Heck, get in touch with me and I'll trade you for some fortune cookies. You might learn a thing or two from what's written inside.

And for now, I'll just shut my flaming trap. Unless I'm eating a cookie.







Aquarius
January 21 - February 19
The hotness of your social life is totes the opposite of like, the temperature outside. Use this to your advantage this month 'cause spring will be here sooner than you think.

Pisces
February 20 - March 20
Take a break. I recommend sex. It's faster than baking brownies but longer than making popcorn. Unless you're doing it wrong.

Aries
March 21 - April 20
You could stand to get in shape. Try yogalates. Your ass will thank you come next battle.

Taurus
April 21 - May 21
Hard work means getting dirty. After, get clean in the 3rd Floor Showers, all that sweat should go to good use.

Gemini
May 22 - June 22
Your friends are mellow, and you're strung out like woah. Let them help you reel it in. And lay off the crack.

Cancer
June 23 - July 23
Blah blah money! Who cares anymore? If you get desperate enough, I hear there's a really nice streetcorner by Atlas Gym.

Leo
July 24 - August 23
Sorry you're not in on the jokes this week, but it's okay, someone somewhere likes you and will clue you in, promise.

Virgo
August 24 - September 23
If you're looking for a sign, it'll totes smack you in the forehead today. Be careful walking around town.

Libra
September 24 - October 23
No giving that bitchass Cancer any of your money. Remember they're cancer, both in name and in like, the way they eat your soul.

Scorpio
October 24 - November 22
It's all about exploration of new things for you, Scorpy. I vote for making out with a member of the same sex. If you need someone friendly call 555-TOBY.

Saggitarius
November 23 - December 21
The higher you hope, the farther you fall. Stop it. Try like, scrying for a realistic goal.

Capricorn
December 22 - January 20
Oh my Miley, you forgot someone's birthday. It's a sign that you need to invest in a calendar. Google has a free one.



Coffee Pin-Up







credits:

editor: Rikku
words: Lee Adama, Toby Moraitis, Warren Peace, Rikku
pictures: The fabulous Chloe Sullivan, the amazing Rory Gilmore, the marvelous Peter Parker, and the humble Rikku
adviser: Ghanima Atreides

Questions? Concerns? Got a hot tip? Send a letter to the editor: letters.fhightimes@fandomhigh.edu!