THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: Volume 4, Third Edition!

[the_merriest]

RIKKU SPEAKS:

You know, you guys have lots of neat holidays here that they don't have where I'm from, but I've gotta say, Halloween is one of my favorites. It's not just the candy -- lots of your holidays have candy, and the ones that don't have candy seem to involve really good food anyway (like that one in November with turkey!) It's also the costumes.

To anyone who's new to this century, country or dimension: Halloween falls on October 31st, and everyone dresses up in awesome outfits. Then at night, you go around getting candy from people. The thing to yell is "Trick or treat!" although I have no idea what the 'trick' part means, since everyone just gives you candy. It's a chance to cut loose, be someone crazy for a night, and get a major sugar buzz.

Last year, I was a samurai, and the previous editor of this esteemed paper was one of the elves from that Bracelets movie. So who are you going to be, Fandom? The sky's the limit!



by T. R. Wexler

This Week: The Gig

In case you haven't noticed, the island has expanded a great deal since the summer; included in that expansion is a collection of great new businesses to expand the services available to students and residence of the island. There are, of course, the old favorites. Cafe Fina, the Perk, Pixie Dust, the Arms Hotel, Wellspring Arms and Meditation Center, Turtle & Canary, Caritas, Pizza Planet, etc, etc. The list goes on, and will continue on in the light of our growing economy here on this island. In this time of economic trouble, such growth is truly uplifting and inspiring, and we should get out there and patron these businesses to keep the stimulation of our growth going!

You may be thinking, "But Turtle! There are so many! How am I to know what to look for?" Well, reader, do I have an answer for you! I'd like to introduce to you my weekly column to help you be a smart investor and get to know more about your economic community! Each week, I'll interview one of the many owners of the businesses around town, especially the new ones, so that you can know what it's all about.

This week, I interviewed Miss Rosie of the Gig. Located at 85 Galactica Drive, the Gig is a hybrid of services, although most are centered around the horses there that people can rent out. Rosie, the owner, is also a 'horse-leech,' which is a less fancy word for an old-fashioned veterinarian. The fact that Rosie actually talks to animals makes her pretty qualified to figure out what it is that is bother your animal! She also says she dabbles a little in blacksmith work, and has a forge on the premise to help work out all your dents. She's been apprenticed in this sort of thing since she was younger than even me, to she knows her stuff!

A friendly, pretty woman with short blonde hair, Rosie was more than willing to talk to me about her business, although she was very charmingly modest about it. She comes from a pretty magical world, she says, and that Fandom Island is, at times, boring by comparison. "It's nice to know that the bread will stay bread when you cut it, that the cheese won't grow legs and run away, and the tea water won't turn into rose petals, or spiders," she says, which I think is a true testament to how new to the island she is! At least we know we can depend on her when things start to go strange and you need your cat looked at or a horse rented. In fact, she claims that the strangest things in Fandom for her so far are "Water that comes out of a tap, lights that come on when you flick a switch, and a forge you don't have to run on coal." That, and fish. Fish is definitely not kosher where she's from.

Even if you don't have any need for her services (although now would be a prime time to get a certain person a pony if one was feeling genereous), you still might want to swing by the Gig and have a look.



The Feeling Blue / It's Not Easy Being Green / Rose-Tinted Glasses edition
by Cal Stephanides

It was a while that it happened, because this not-exactly-intrepid reported flaked last week, but you all probably remember it. Rocks, falling from the sky. Painless when they struck, but, next thing you knew, you were dyed a different color. I'm not going to pretend that that isn't weird; I'm jaded, not delusional.

In the interim, we also had Parents' Weekend, which, beyond the fact that it's really quite a misnomer consider the wide variety of guests that visited us, is not particularly odd, unless you still consider people from different worlds and dimensions weird. If you do, what is wrong with you? Do you live under a rock, under your bed, in your room all day?

So, Parents' Weekend wasn't any weirder than one could expect from their own family and friends, and the Color Rocks was weird, sure, but is it really the weirdest thing that happened this week? Really?

If you think so, I beg to differ. Something must stranger occured, and it probably slipped entirely under our radar.

And that is simply the paradox that...NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED.

A quick scan through radio reports reveal nothing too strange, certainly nothing strange enough to note. The rocks, sure, but no animal transformations (that I noticed), no notably outrageous gremlin bites. Even the squirrels have seemed a bit docile through the week.

Now this is strange.

Right?

Wrong! Consider what the week before last was: fall break. Is it that far of a stretch of the imagination to suggest that, while we're taking a break, the island follows suit? There has to be some sort of sentience to this place: why else do so many of us watch our words, lest we curse ourselves with something like talking socks or pudding running out of our noses instead of snot? Last week, it simply needed a break. A resting period. A chance to kick up its heels and settle in as just any ol' island floating around in the sea would do. Just a spell of relaxation as many of us wanted to after homecoming weekend.

A completely normal, un-weird reaction.

It can't be easy being Fandom Island, after all.

And it appears to be taking a break this week, too; who can blame it after all the visitors last weekend?







Scorpio
October 24 - November 22
Well, Scorpy. You've been leaving someone out this week. Do the right thing and invite them along to dress like a ho and go trick-or-treating with you. The night could end with some face (or other) sucking if you play your cards right.

Saggitarius
November 23 - December 21
Your dreams are like an instant message from your soul. Dude, you need to follow them and like, tell everyone who disagrees to shove it. Unless it's Professor Skywalker because, oh my god, that man is beautiful.

Capricorn
December 22 - January 20
Jupiter wants you to reveal yourself to all your friends, Cappie, and I'm voting for some streaking on the school lawn. Guys? Call me and we'll do it together!

Aquarius
January 21 - February 19
This is the dawning of the age of new, like paths and shit. I don't know. Something about being tactful and discrete until you've got hot dudes eating out of the palm of your hand. Give it a try, there are some hot dudes on campus.

Pisces
February 20 - March 20
Your life sucks. You should become a nun or a monk.

Aries
March 21 - April 20
You're the friend Scorpy's been screwing over. Dress like a stripper for Halloween and get laid. You'll feel better about being left out all the time and sources say new developments will spring forth after. So everyone use protection.

Taurus
April 21 - May 21
If you're in a committed relationship, break up. You're getting an instant message warning! It could be a secret, some gossip or something very valuable worth slotting into your message bank, whatever the hell that is.

Gemini
May 22 - June 22
It's all in the details, twins. If you're going to dress like Ratman for Halloween, just say yes to plastic nipples.

Cancer
June 23 - July 23
Cancer, since your disease is slowly killing you anyway, indulge in some Halloween candy today. You might not be here tomorrow.

Leo
July 24 - August 23
Make a wish. Your family visited this weekend and if you hope hard enough they'll lay off the responsibility talk for another year.

Virgo
August 24 - September 23
Virgo, you're all about new directions and stuff, but you might need a diary, a compass, and a map to sort out what this new direction is leading you towards. Let's hope it's not sending you to Scranton.

Libra
September 24 - October 23
Stop being moody and reconnect with your center. Let's hope your roommate is respectful of the doorknob sock or they might get a nice look at your center.



Coffee Pin-Up







credits:

editor: Rikku
words: Toby Moraitis, Rikku, Cal Stephanides, T. R. Wexler
pictures: The fabulous Chloe Sullivan, the amazing Rory Gilmore, the marvelous Peter Parker, and the humble Rikku
adviser: Ghanima Atreides

Questions? Concerns? Got a hot tip? Send a letter to the editor: letters.fhightimes@fandomhigh.edu!