THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: VOLUME 3, 8th EDITION!

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

PETER SPEAKS:

It has been weeks since I brought it back up for discussion and still there is no apparent forward movement with the Pony Rewards Plan. As such I feel that we need a list of pros and cons.

PRO:
-Ponies.
-Encouragement in the form of ponies.
-Improved grades.

CON:
-None.

It is obvious once again that the Pony Rewards Plan is not only a good way to pound out an editorial in no time flat, but is a foolproof plan to raise student performance. Let's get on it already, school administration!







FANDOM FASHION: AN ANALYSIS
by Cher Horowitz

If there's one thing I'd like to think I know a lot about, it's fashion. It's fun, it's cool, it's a way to express yourself and make a statement while making yourself look shiny at the same time. There's just no wrong here.

So during my time here in Fandom, I've found that there is no one style here. See, back home it's all about what boutiques you shop at and how much you spent and whether that color was more suited to 1994. While it's a little jarring to be away from the normal fashion rules, it's also kind of nice to see so many cultures in our clothing. Really, here, someone's sword isn't just a weapon, it's also an accessory!

The cool thing is that you can take styles you see on people from other worlds and times and stuff, and see how they might tie into future styles. Maybe that tribal gear will be all the rage in 2010. Or maybe that 1920's look can totally come back as a retro chic thing.

But when it really comes down to it, what I really know is that when I go back to 1995, I am stylin'.



WELCOME TO FANDOM, DETECTIVE MONTOYA
By Charlie McGee(s)

Detective Renee Montoya had a typical Fandom introduction shortly after she arrived, meeting our Illustrious Editor when his arm was a fish. So far, she seems unphased by Fandom. Gotham City may have proved good training for our kind of weirdness.

"We have a guy who dresses as a bat to fight crime. You decide," Detective Montoya commented. "I think we need more good cops so that he won't be necessary."

"In a town like Gotham, you have to be a good guy or a bad guy to survive," she added, when asked why she joined the police force. Her goals are, "what any cop wants. To protect the city and citizens in it."

"My job is usually enough to keep me from doing anything crazy on my time off." Detective Montoya makes a point to relax off the job, and simply asked that Fandom citizens "Just to refrain from starting a crime wave. We're swamped with paperwork as it is."



LEARN TO SPEAK AL BHED
By Rikku

Welcome to this week's Learn to Speak Al Bhed! I couldn't think of anything to write this week, so I had the idea that I might teach you some of the more ... vulgar expressions we have. Everybody needs something to yell when they drop a hammer on their toes, and Al Bhed has some good hearty curses in it! But since this is the paper and all, I'm not going to write out exactly what they translate to, because that wouldn't be polite at all. It's just gonna be a semi-approximation, okay?

Very bad things should happen to you, meanie.
Lruga uh y telg yht tea, oui yccruma.

Ouch! That hurt a lot!!!
VILG! SUDRANVILGAN! UF UF UF!!!

Here, I'm so angry I'm gonna say rude things about your mom!
Ouin sudran fyc y lulgcilgehk dfu-kem fruna.

Go away until I am less upset and we can discuss this rationally.
Ku vilg ouincamv, oui cesbma-sehtat camvecr pycdynt.

Be more assertive in realizing you will need to deal with this situation.
Knuf y byen, oui muico clrsilg.

See, don't those sound fun!? They really are! And if you don't speak Al Bhed anyway, you don't have to worry about mispronouncing them! I'll see you next week, so long as I don't get in too much trouble for this!!!



The Fine Print
By Peter Parker

Don't say neigh to ponies.



Coffee Pin-Up







credits:

editor: Peter Parker
words: Cher Horowitz, Charlie McGee, Peter Parker, Rikku
pictures: The fabulous Chloe Sullivan, the amazing Rory Gilmore, the modest Peter Parker, the great Rikku, and the magnificent Google
adviser: Steve Rogers

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Send a letter to the editor: letters.fhightimes@fandomhigh.edu