THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: FIFTEENTH EDITION!

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

RORY SPEAKS:
Instead of a column, this week I'm giving up my space to someone who needs it more.


RIKKU SPEAKS: A VERY SINCERE APOLOGY

Rory said it was okay if I included a little note in here 'cause I don't know how else to reach people except for putting signs up in the dorm and it's kinda long so those would be big signs.

Okay, so last week, I did something really stupid and reckless and I broke a hole in some kind of dimensional wall. That was really, really bad and I will never do that again. It's not important why I did it except I promise I had really good intentions, but then I guess most people think they do. But I wasn't, like, bored and just ripping holes or anything. I just wanted to fix something that's wrong that shouldn't be. But there are other ways to do it and messing with the natural order of things just because you feel guilty about surviving and someone else being miserable isn't the smart thing to do.

It was open from Tuesday afternoon to Thursday night and I'm pretty sure that that's why some things got bendy, like doors not going where they should or the common room not having gravity in it. I am very sorry to all of you for endangering the structural integrity of reality and making your week weirder. If any of you want an apology in person I'm going to be in the lobby on Thursday with cookies and you can yell and scream or whatever. Or just take some cookies. You don't have to be angry to get a cookie, either, just have some. Oh! But I won't be there fifth period because I have class and right after classes end, I have to show up for the newspaper meeting, but the rest of the day I'll be there.

I'm especially sorry to my roommate, Hermione Granger, since she was probably in the most danger since the hole was in our room. And thank you to Professor Deadpool, Professor Skywalker, Jude Lizowski, and Valentine, who were really nice to me when I was all upset and whatever, and to Vice-Principal Hades for closing the hole thing. And I probably forgot some other people and if I did you should come by for cookies and yell at me for that.










STUCO REPORT
by Peter Parker

Prom happened.


LEARN TO SPEAK AL BHED
by Rikku

Welcome to yet another week of Learn to Speak Al Bhed. This week, thanks to Fandom's weirdness, I got to spend some time speaking Al Bhed with a little girl who happens to be pretty fluent. It was nice just getting to hear it again!!

Peace is something that everyone should strive for.
Bayla ec cusadrehk dryd ajanouha cruimt cdneja vun.

I am very sorry that I broke a dimensional wall.
E ys jano cunno dryd E pnuga y tesahceuhym fymm.

Not-prom was really awesome! Thanks again, Buffy!
Hud-bnus fyc naymmo yfacusa! Dryhgc ykyeh, Buffy!

Be wary of really powerful beings that want to offer you deals.
Pa fyno uv naymmo bufanvim paehkc dryd fyhd du uvvan oui taymc.

Good night, little one. Mommy loves you.
Kuut hekrd, meddma uha. Susso mujac oui.

That's all for this week! Caa oui haqd desa! (See you next time!)



PROM: WHERE NOTHING OVERLY WEIRD HAPPENED UNTIL THE NEXT DAY
by Peter Parker

This year's Prom was an eventful one, but not featuring the kind of spontaneous and potentially dangerous events that we've grown accustomed to. Unless you count Jack Harkness being crowned Prom King or a group of Stickbugs invading the dance floor in a glorious tornado of poorly choreographed might as being dangerous.

Joining King Harkness in the Prom Court was Student Council president and the Hightimes' very own Alanna Trebond as Queen, Isabel Evans as the Princess, and Samuel T. Anders as Prince. There is no word yet on what havoc will come from their rule, but I for one salute our newly elected overlords and hope that they will enact my "Pony Rewards" plan that I mentioned several weeks ago. [PLEASE? COME ON, GUYS. It means ponies for you, too! - RG]

Dashing expectations after our last dance, there were no adorable animals in the punch this time, nor were the waterfowl noticably violent during the gondola rides around the pond. This is fortunate for everyone but the local school media who may have had a headline prepared for that eventuality.*

All in all, it was a dance well-executed. Thanks go out to Princess Isabel, Peter Pevensie, and the rest of the Student Council for making sure it went smoothly. Thanks also to the underclassmen for not staging a coup of the dance. Don't take that as a suggestion for next year, either, okay?

*Fowls Foul Up Prom







We feel a certain confidence in our predictions this week. Perhaps we are starting to get the hang of this after all!

Your horoscopes, for the calendar week starting on April 15th, 2007:

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You will be invaded by your offspring from a possible future existence. Two days later, you will discover that you are both relieved and saddened to see the children leave again.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You will be invaded by your offspring from a possible future existence. Two days later, you will discover that you are both relieved and saddened to see the children leave again.

GEMINI (May 21-June 21): You will be invaded by your offspring from a possible future existence. Two days later, you will discover that you are both relieved and saddened to see the children leave again.

CANCER (June 22-July 22): You will be invaded by your offspring from a possible future existence. Two days later, you will discover that you are both relieved and saddened to see the children leave again.

LEO (July 23-August 22): You will be invaded by your offspring from a possible future existence. Two days later, you will discover that you are both relieved and saddened to see the children leave again.

VIRGO (August 23-September 22): You will be invaded by your offspring from a possible future existence. Two days later, you will discover that you are both relieved and saddened to see the children leave again.

LIBRA (September 23-October 22): You will be invaded by your offspring from a possible future existence. Two days later, you will discover that you are both relieved and saddened to see the children leave again.

SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): You will be invaded by your offspring from a possible future existence. Two days later, you will discover that you are both relieved and saddened to see the children leave again.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): You will be invaded by your offspring from a possible future existence. Two days later, you will discover that you are both relieved and saddened to see the children leave again.

CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): You will be invaded by your offspring from a possible future existence. Two days later, you will discover that you are both relieved and saddened to see the children leave again.

AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): You will have a meeting with a goat with a blue horn who just leaped from behind a tree while you were out buying pizza with pineapple and lettuce.

PISCES (February 19-March 20): You will be invaded by your offspring from a possible future existence. Two days later, you will discover that you are both relieved and saddened to see the children leave again.



Coffee Pin-Up




credits:
editor: Rory Gilmore
words: Rory Gilmore, Peter Parker, Rikku, Alanna Trebond
pictures: The fabulous Chloe Sullivan, the humble Rory Gilmore, and the magnificent Google
coffee pin-up: http://www.101cookbooks.com/mt-static/images/food/seattle2.jpg