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THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: Volume 5, Third Edition

Dear Reader,
We're all used to seeing the population of the island increase over Parent's Weekend. This time, it helped us miss the departure of one of our own. It is with great regret that the staff at the Fandom High Times announces that Cal Stephanides has returned home to be with his family in their time of need. Cal left some pretty big shoes to fill, so there's two of us stepping up to the task. Starting with this issue, Joan Girardi and I will be serving as editors-in-chief.
I can't speak for Joan, but I am a little nervous and excited about taking on this responsibility. Hopefully you won't notice any drastic changes while we try to figure out what we're doing. Now that this issue is on its way to the printing presses, I'm definitely breathing a bit easier!
Enjoy your fall break, and in the meantime, I look forward to hearing your comments.
-- H. Sato

What's Going On
by Joan Girardi
This past weekend saw an influx of visitors to our fair isle. Some were more welcome than others but they're all gone now and no one died, so obviously the weekend was a success. The visitors seemed to enjoy all of the festivities that were planned for them. The picnic on Friday, the cocktail party on Saturday and the brunch on Sunday were all well attended. Along with the social activities, the majority of our staff and faculty took some time out to hold office hours so concerned parents, guardians and friends could check up on us.
As a reward for making it through Parent's Weekend intact, we get a whole week off of classes and a trip to a resort in the Catskills next week. For those of you going on the trip, I'll see you there and I promise not write about any illicit activities in the next edition. For those of you who are taking the break to do other things, have a fun and safe time!

Cooking Made Easy
By: Hoshi Sato
Cooking is relatively easy compared to baking. If you make a mistake, you get something that comes up burnt on the outside and runny on the inside. Recently, someone introduced me to the idea of making baking little cakes in the microwave using just a coffee cup. It sounded rather unbelievable, but it also sounded incredibly easy when I researched the idea.
Unfortunately, I was unable to test this recipe before publication due to a cranky chef who wouldn't let me near his self-rising flour. However, I would be happy to assist anyone who wants to give this one a try but needs help.
Hot Cocoa Chocolate Cake
9 Tbsp. hot chocolate powder mix
* look for sugar-free, calcium fortified mix for a healthier cake
4 Tbsp. self raising flour
* use whole wheat flour for a healthier alternative
1 egg
3 Tbsp. oil
* for a healthier recipe, use canola oil, and replace half the oil with apple sauce
3 Tbsp. water
Pinch of salt
Grease the inside of the mug with cooking spray. Measure and pour the dry ingredients into the mug. Stir ingredients with a spoon. Crack the egg and add it to the mug. Stir to get the egg incorporated in the dry ingredients. Measure and pour the wet ingredients into the mug. Stir and beat everything together to get a "cake batter" mix. Use your spoon to scrape the bottom. Fold the bottom mixture onto the top a few times to get all of the dry ingredients (chocolate powder and flour) moistened and incorporated with the wet ingredients (water, egg, and oil).
Microwave on high for 3 minutes. Timing may be different for various watt amounts, so you may want to watch carefully and start out in 1-minute increments. Use a potholder or oven mitt to carefully remove the mug from the microwave. Remove the cake from the mug. Take a fork and cut the cake into quarters. Cutting the cake will help it cool down faster. 10. Garnish the cake with ice cream, whipped cream, glaze, syrup, or another topping of your choice.
Very important: For those of you not familiar with 21st century technology, I would recommend that you choose your mug carefully before using it in the microwave to make sure it does not contain any sort of metal. Trust me, metal + microwaves = bad.
I am always available if you want to suggest any more recipes I should cover or if you just need help using the microwave.
[OOC: Recipe cribbed from wikiHow, which even has step-by-step pictures! I cannot claim credit for their awesomeness.]

Horoscopes
by Yakko Warner
Aries
March 21 - April 20
Ask yourself: Why is the world in love again? Why are we marching hand in hand? Why are the ocean levels rising up? If you can find the theme, your heart will flood.
Taurus
April 21 - May 21
Not to put too fine a point on it, but say I'm the only bee in your bonnet. And then make a little birdhouse in your soul.
Gemini
May 22 - June 22
Sure as you can't steer a train, you can't change your fate. So rock that barstool and have a drink for two!
Cancer
June 23 - July 23
Remember, even old New York was once New Amsterdam. Why they changed it, I can't say. Maybe they just liked it better that way.
Leo
July 24 - August 23
Are you a dot, or are you a speck? When you're underwater do you get wet? Or does the water get you instead? Nobody knows.
Virgo
August 24 - September 23
She's not your satellite and she doesn't miss you. So turn off your smoke machine and Marshall stack!
Libra
September 24 - October 23
If you were smart, you would save up for a piece of string and a rock to wind the string around. Because everybody wants a rock to wind a piece of string around.
Scorpio
October 24 - November 22
The thing that bothers you is that someone keeps moving your chair.
Sagittarius
November 23 - December 21
Minimum Wage! Yah!
Capricorn
December 22 - January 20
You'll never never know what you never never never want to know when you know what you are, oh.
Aquarius
January 21 - February 19
There's only one thing that you know how to do well and you've often been told that you only can do what you know how to do well and that's be you. Be what you're like. Be like yourself.
Pisces
February 20 - March 20
There's something beside the shoreline, moving across the beachhead, coming up from the shipwreck, making as if to say: "Women & Men!"

Goode tHings of the 21st Century
by MERLIN
I have found thatt the lack of chamberpotts arre possibley the best part of being here. Indore plumbing is most pleassant for those who have nott ever been withoute until now.
Its wonderfull!1 you just push a leever of some sorte and the water and other lesss sundry bits arre taken away! Im not exactly certan where they go, but onne thing is for sure that it is a godsend. I would very willlingly see about bringing this back home if it were possible without seeming to be a sorcerous act. THe privycleaners would be most pleased!
Plese feel free to sugest a topic of discusson for the next articel!! 555-MRLN


credits:
editors: Joan Girardi, Hoshi Sato
words: Joan Girardi, Merlin, Hoshi Sato, Yakko Warner
pictures: The fabulous Chloe Sullivan, the amazing Rory Gilmore, the marvelous Peter Parker, the effervescent Rikku, the middling Cal Stephanides, the talented Joan Girardi, and the effusive Hoshi Sato
adviser: Ghanima Atreides
Questions? Concerns? Got a hot tip? Send a letter to the editor: letters.fhightimes@fandomhigh.edu!
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