THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: VOLUME 3, 18th EDITION!

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

PETER SPEAKS:

I've been working on the Fandom Hightimes for two and a half years now. Not coincidentally, that's how long I've been in Fandom. I first got a taste for the newspaper business back in New York when I lucked into a job running the website of the Daily Bugle. During my time there, the Bugle's publisher, J. Jonah Jameson, ended up taking a special interest in me. I was a dumb kid who wanted to know how the world worked, and he explained it by firing me. He felt bad about it after my aunt yelled at him - I didn't ask her to or anything, she's just that cool - so he rehired me and sent me out to job shadow his best reporter, Ben Urich, every now and then. Working with Mr. Urich is really what made me grow to love journalism.

I'm not sure he'd approve if what I've done to this newspaper, what with the lack of serious news and the predominance of word puzzles, but I think he'd appreciate that I've spent these two and a half years giving it my all, no matter what the end result has been.

Since coming here, I've worked in the shadow of great news people (Logan Cale, Chloe Sullivan, and Rory Gilmore) as well as some who Mr. Jameson would have fired inside of ten minutes (Rita Skeeter). All of them taught me something, though, and that helped me become somebody who has given far too many Tuesday nights to desperation, writing whatever came to mind in the name of getting a couple more paragraphs typed up. This is pretty much where I leave my journalistic career behind, however. I'm off to a fancy science school to be a fancy scientist, and I already have my extracurriculars sewn up. Trying to balance newspaper on top of the rest of that would probably drive me nuttier than I already am, and I can think of one girl who might not find that so endearing after a while.

That said, I couldn't be more proud of where this journalistic bent has taken me. It's provided me with a place to tell people how I see things, share some silliness, challenge their brains, and all-around put myself out there for people to read on a weekly basis and that's more than I could have ever asked for.

I'd like to thank Chloe and Rory for giving me the chance to grow into the less-than-serious newsman I am, Mr. Rogers for letting me take this paper wherever I wanted, even if that place was usually "into madness," and my staff for typing all of those wonderful words for no other reason than because I demanded it. I now know what it's like to be drunk with power and nobody had to get hurt for it.

But most of all, I'd like to thank all of my readers for making this worth it. Well, all of my readers who haven't skipped right to the Jumble. If there are any.

So long, Fandom Hightimes. I promise the next person will treat you well.







THE YEAR IN REVIEW
by Rikku

It's the end of the school year again! I'm still not used to it, we didn't have school like this where I'm from. So since people are leaving I thought maybe we should take a minute and think about the past year.

Summer term was great! If you didn't have fun classes about stealing things and blowing them up and pestering your teachers, then make sure to sign up for the good ones this time around!! We all got to stay in cabins - mine was Kraken! - and there was something really special about just sitting around a campfire at night and meeting new people and talking for hours.

Dinosaurs attacked! I missed them, but I heard some people kicked serious dino-butt. Woo! Then Principal Washburn went on maternity leave (CONGRATULATIONS!! GRACE IS ADORABLE!!) and that awful Umbridge lady showed up, and she was mean to everyone, especially Hermione. But it's okay, because nobody can mess with Fandom for too long. The teachers got together and booted her on out of here. GO TEACHERS! The summer wasn't all good: we lost one of our alumni. He wouldn't want a huge fuss made, but I just wanted to say: I'm sorry, Hamlet. I wish I had made you armor after all.

Fall took us back to the dorms. We had a weekend where everybody forgot who the heck they were, and some of us embarrassed ourselves a lot. (SELF INCLUDED.) Homecoming was great - everyone looked awesome, and we got to welcome our new alums back for a big old party.

There was a really terrifying week last November, when half the island got the plague. We lost another one of our own. Bart, I didn't know you well enough to say much, but you were happy and speedy and you loved every bit of life as it flew by. The real tragedy is that so many of us never got to know you better.

Right after the plague we all came back for a future reunion, and some of us were surprised at what we were (or weren't!!) doing. And wow, I was calm for once, I'm surprised anybody recognized me.

January had more people leaving and new ones showing up. Just as the newbies were thinking we were kidding about Fandom being weird, we all turned into other people for a weekend. (If you're missing stuff, I probably took it and I'm so, so, sorry!) We had an invasion of off-duty mercenaries, and an awesome spring break trip to Mexico - I got a tattoo! Don't tell my dad!!! Then there was a week that was just insane, with things like singing out of nowhere and shoes on strike and dust bunnies and so on!

The angel statues showed up and made things really awful, sending people into the past. We couldn't blow them up or smash them (some of us tried, darn it) but the whole town came together until we figured out a way to fix it. We lured the angels into staring at each other and got everyone in the past into pods. So some people had a few extra months stuck into their year, but what really matters is that we got everyone home safe and sound, because that looked iffy for a bit there.

The rest of the semester's been filled with Fandom's usual strangeness, like everyone turning into a little kid for a weekend (thanks again for the airplane ride, Professor Skywalker!) or all the girls waking up as guys, which was just seriously weird. And enormous bears with laser guns. I totally beat one up (kinda).

And now it's the end of the whole year and we have to say goodbye to our graduates and start the whole cycle over again. I wish we didn't, there are so many people leaving that I'm gonna miss like crazy. But unfortunately that's the other half of it: if nobody ever left, we wouldn't get new friends coming in, either.

I guess I grew up a lot this year. There was some personal stuff going on that doesn't belong here, but every time you lose something, you find something new. Even if it's just learning how to deal with what you lost, that's still something. So even the bad parts of the past year I wouldn't trade, because if you start taking out the bad parts, then the good parts don't work right. You need all of it. There, that's my little bit of philosophy for you. It's a cliche, sure, but maybe it's a cliche for a reason.

Good luck out there, graduates, and we'll miss you. Bring back some good stories for Homecoming, and we'll keep the crazy going while you're gone.


LEARN TO SPEAK AL BHED
By Rikku

Welcome back to another week of Learn to Speak Al Bhed! The last one, for now, because summer's coming up and the paper doesn't usually run during the summer! But if you want to learn to speak Al Bhed you can always chat with me or Lulu, because she speaks it, and Reno knows some and even Sokka speaks a little! See, we could pass messages, doesn't that sound fun? Get learning!!!

I cannot believe how quickly this school term has gone!
E lyhhud pameaja ruf xielgmo drec clruum dans ryc kuha!

Brooke made many pretty dresses for the fashion show.
Brooke syta syho bnaddo tnaccac vun dra vycreuh cruf.

It is possible to lose at paintball even though you are not actually playing.
Ed ec buccepma du muca yd byehdpymm ajah druikr oui yna hud yldiymmo bmyoehk.

Please move your butt and stop asking me questions before I hit you.
Bmayca suja ouin pidd yht cdub ycgehk sa xiacdeuhc pavuna E red oui.

I am very glad I am not a boy any more!
E ys jano kmyt E ys hud y puo yho suna!

If you wanted to learn something else in Al Bhed, then you should have said something before now, because this is the last issue of the semester!!! You're just gonna have to wait until next year, unless you come ask me in person! Which is always pretty fun! Thanks for reading!!!



JUMBLE

Unscramble the mystery words, then use the special CIRCLED letters to answer this week's brainbusting riddle!

MUSAROLIJN
_ _ O _ _ _ _ _ _ _

OOLGBYI
_ _ _ O _ _ _

PUCSERMOT
_ _ _ O _ _ _ _ _

RSGIEEHONURP
_ _ O _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

MCAITEHASMT
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ O _ _

VIROYDCES
_ _ O _ _ _ _ _ _

Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her OOOOOO!

Last week's answers:
CENTER, TAMPER, WEASEL, ANTHOLOGY, CHICK
What kind of dog is always ticked off? A WATCHdog!



The Fine Print
By Peter Parker

Bye!



Coffee Pin-Up







credits:

editor: Peter Parker
words: Peter Parker, Rikku
pictures: The fabulous Chloe Sullivan, the amazing Rory Gilmore, the modest Peter Parker
adviser: Steve Rogers

Questions? Comments? Complaints? It's not Peter's problem anymore!